Broken
by SVUFan4Life
Summary: Olivia's heart has been broken... again. If anyone can fix it it's the person that has been there through everything, the one person she has truly had in her heart all along. RATED M - E/O
1. Broken

**okay so here it is. my new story. :) taken quite a break from writing but i am back. i hope you all enjoy it! **

**this takes place starting at the when David breaks Olivia's heart. :p the first few lines/scene is straight from the episode (in italics). then after the italics the story is all my own. **

**Disclaimer: i DO NOT own SVU or its characters, just the ideas of the story. we all know if someone else other than who actually does own it then Elliot and Olivia WOULD get together with lots of sexy times. lol.**

**if the idea has been done already, which i know it probably has been somewhat, i tried my best to be original with it. but if anyone has a problem, please PM me or leave a review with your concerns.  
Enjoy! :)**

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_Sitting at the bar, he looked straight ahead as he spoke. She saw the look on his face. He was saddened by what he was thinking. Then he started speaking the words she had feared the most._  
_"You know that.. that means-"_

_"I know." She cut him off, her voice trembling from the tears that were already forming in her eyes. "Us. This... never happened." She looked at him as she said it, the realization of her words hitting her as he continued to stare forward._

The tears began to fall as she got up from the bar and walked away from him.  
"Liv," he said before realizing it was to late. She was already gone, and there was no stopping her.

She walked out into the rain. It blended with the tears that were now falling uncontrollably. She just wanted to get home and try to forget everything that had happened in the past couple months, and a cab was quicker than walking the distance. She felt stupid, worthless, and like there was no hope for her to find love.

There was one person that knew her better than she did sometimes. He knew everything about her. She knew everything about him. He left her just like every other man in her life. It was not just some other person that she couldn't trust. It was her partner, now ex-partner, Elliot Stabler. She missed him every day. Olivia wondered if he ever thought about her like she thought about him. She missed having him around to talk to. She missed his smell, his presence, his smile-

She shook herself out of it. She couldn't go too far into her thoughts and she knew that. It didn't do any good for anyone. It hurt her more knowing it was too late to do anything about it.

The cabbie arrived at her apartment and she paid him without another word. She walked into her building and took the familiar elevator ride up to her floor. Olivia walked towards the door and felt like something was off, but couldn't tell what. She thought she was being paranoid, but just in case, reached for her gun as she put the key in the lock to open her door. It was locked, which she concluded was strange if someone was breaking in. She almost laughed at herself. She sighed and took her hand off her holster.

Olivia figured the night she had made her go a little more into cop-mode than usual.

She flipped on the lightswitch and turned around. All she saw was someone on her couch and pulled her gun quickly.

"Hey, Liv," he said quietly. She could not believe what she was seeing, or hearing. She couldn't speak at all from the shock that overtook her. It was him. Elliot, on her couch, in her apartment. Her heart was racing as she continued to stare with disbelief. Her gun was still pointed at him in a loose grip and stance. She wasn't going to shoot. She couldn't bring herself to move.  
"Are you okay?," he asked, seeing her dissheveled appearance and noticing her non-speaking state. Her voice was caught in her throat.

She couldn't bring herself to saying no or anything else. Admitting she wasn't okay was a very hard thing for Olivia, and knowing Elliot saw right through her was terrifying.

All the memories flooded back to her as if it happened yesterday. Jenna, saying goodnight to him after that horrible day, just to come back to work the next day and not seeing him, packing up his desk when Cragen told her he had officially put in his papers. That was one of her worst fears and it had happened. It had become all too real for her then. She had so many days and nights of wondering where he was, wondering if he was okay. Now he was there, in front of her. She didn't know what to believe.

He got up from his spot on the couch and started walking towards her. She regained her lost voice, feeling angry now over everything that had happened.  
"What the hell are you doing here?," she asked. Of all the questions she had for him, that was the only one she could form. He stopped a few feet in front of her as he answered, lowering her gun to her side.

"I came back, I miss you, the team, my job," he answered honestly. "Kathy threatened to leave, again because of the job, and I finally let her go. For good Liv. Then Jenna, and...," he paused, remembering Jenna, and the chaos of Kathy leaving. It didn't hurt him as much as it scared him. "It only took me long enough to realize I didn't love her anymore. I-"

She cut him off. "Elliot, you didn't just leave the job when you left. You left... you left me," Olivia whispered towards the end, feeling her voice leave her again as she stared at the ground, trying to hold back the tears forming. She didn't cry often, and when she did it was worth crying over.

"I know, Liv, and I can't explain how sorry I am or how much I regret leaving.. I should have said something. It just didn't-"

"It didn't what, Elliot? It didn't make sense to you to tell the people that care about you that you were leaving? Or you couldn't deal with what happened? Sorry isn't going to fix this!," she said angrily throwing her hands in the air as she spoke. The more he spoke the more it pissed her off and upset her.

He continued to move closer to her. "I know... Sorry is only the start. I need you to know I am not leaving like that ever again."

"How do I know that? You did it once before what the hell is stopping you from doing it again?" She looked up to see him closer than he should be. Their shoes were almost touching at the toes. "What are you doing?," she asked, not sure what had gotten into him.

"It's you," he whispered.

"What... what are you talking about?," she asked, still not sure about any of this.

"You are going to be what stops me from leaving again. You are what brought me back," he said leaning in closer to her lips. She wanted to move, but the wall behind her prevented any movement. He brushed his lips against hers and she felt the rush of goosebumps. Not from being cold and freezing, but from him. His kiss was soft, and she wanted more of it.

There was so many thoughts and feelings rushing through her. She wanted it to stop, but she wanted it so much, too. The kiss deepened and it became insistent between them. Her hands wrapped around his neck as his hands found her waist. She had to stop this before it got out of hand, but it was perfect. She fought her heart and her head.

_How can I stop when it's all I've ever wanted?_

_It may ruin what we have as friends._

They broke apart and she tried catching her breath.  
"El," she said, their faces close. "Stop," she said breathlessly. Her head won. "You aren't thinking clearly. I'm not thinking clearly, and if I were I would tell you the same thing... This.. can't happen."

He looked at her, stunned at what she just said. He backed off a bit trying to think of what to say or do.  
"Liv, didn't you hear me? Kathy and me. We're over. The kids are older, except Eli but they will understand. They have seen me unhappy for years. Why can't we?," he pleaded with his blue eyes, now filled with fear and sadness.

She struggled to regain control of her breathing and body. "We can't..." She could hardly get the words out. It killed her. Her heart, her body wanted this, but she could not do this right now.

"You should go," she said quietly. She finally was able to control herself enough to walk to the door and open it. She stood there as he was still shocked. He composed himself enough to go. He turned around as he hit the doorway, and looked at her as she was trying to avoid his eyes.

She finally looked up, and when she did he spoke. "Bye, Liv," he said saddened.

"Bye," she responded. He turned his back and walked away. She didn't know what this meant. Were they friends? All she knew was she closed the door on him, and her heart.

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**what did you think? i am thinking there is more planned for the story... if you want it! next up, she goes to work, and finds a surprise there she was not expecting... **  
**reviews are very encouraged...and i might post faster if everyone likes it! :) you can leave me one here or twitter - SVU_fan4life **  
**i ask nicely for no hateful reviews. i know i am not the best but really, hate does nothing for my writing lol.**


	2. Breakdown

**thank you to everyone adding to alerts and reviewing already! much appreciated:) so everyone is aware, there is NO rollins or amaro in this story. my own preference for this one. and now olivia is returning to work the next day, not expecting to know what is there. or should i say who? ;)**

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Olivia woke up to her cell phone alarm going off at 5:45a.m. She moaned her way out of her bed to make coffee. She didn't even remember going to sleep, or hitting her bed for that matter. She stayed up most of the night thinking, with tears falling for Elliot, until she literally could not cry anymore. David Haden was never meant to take his place, but Olivia really liked him. Nobody could take the place of Elliot. However, he was one of the few people in her life that she had trusted, which is why it hurt to let him go. It only made her realize how much she missed Elliot being in her life. Then he was there, and she had to tell her heart no again. She was afraid. It was complicated. She made every excuse for it not to happen right now.

She walked around trying to block out the thoughts still flooding her mind from the night before. She didn't think she could cry anymore about this. More like Olivia was done crying over this. She talked herself back into her job.

She started thinking about recent cases. The girl that was raped and beaten; the mom that neglected her kids by physically abusing them, and letting the step father do what he wanted to them. She was angry thinking about all the cases, and then angry at herself for letting her personal life affect her in this way. She grabbed her cup of coffee and was out the door.

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The precinct at 7a.m. was not too chaotic yet. It was before Cragen handed out the assignments for the day and when everyone got settled in for a bit before having to leave again.

She got started on the paperwork that never ended. She was distracted and didn't say good morning to anyone. Anyone that said it to her got a glance and tiny smile, just so she wasn't completely blowing it off. She didn't notice another person sitting there that hadn't been there in months. Then Cragen came out of his office and called her in. She was okay with that. She hadn't done anything wrong so she wasn't worried. She got up without looking around and hardly made eye contact with Cragen. She was trying to make it non obvious she was in a bad spot right now. It was very obvious to everyone though and she thought that was why she was getting called in.

He took his seat at his desk as she shut the door.

"Liv, there is something I have to tell you.. And I don't know how else to put it," he said with that encouraged look in his eye. He knew she may take it hard. "Elliot's back."

She finally looked up and squinted her eyes a bit. "What.. what do you mean?," she said, playing stupid with what was said. Obviously she already knew that he was back in New York but didn't know what else he could have meant.

"He's back. He's back in New York and he has his job back. He is back for good. He wanted his job back and I had no choice but to offer it back to him. He is one of the best detectives around."

"Captain, he left without a single word. He left all of us. How could you do this?," she said in frustration. She couldn't believe this. Yet she couldn't tell him the real reason she was pissed. Yes she was pissed he now had his job back but Cragen couldn't find out what happened, and neither could IAB. It would cause more problems for the precinct and they did not need that right now.

"Liv, I thought you would be a little relieved about this. He was your partner for 12 years-"

"Yes until he chose to leave me and the rest of us here without a single god damn word." She took a deep breath, hoping it would calm her down, and it didn't. "So he just gets a free pass back into his job? This is insane." She paced back and forth.

"Well since your ex- partner Nick Amaro was caught stealing evidence from the lock up we don't have another detective right now. We need him, and he needs us," Cragen said, bringing up Amaro which pissed her off more.

"I had nothing to do with Amaro! He made all his own fucking choices and it's not like I knew he was doing that! If I had known I would have done something. Screw you for saying that." She looked him dead in the eye with the anger now.

"You aren't going to be his partner. He is with Munch, and you are with Fin for now. If you don't like it you can find another job," he threatened. He rarely got angry enough to say that, or get close to saying it. It only happened when his detectives were being unreasonable, and she definitely was being to him. She kept looking at him, knowing he wasn't joking now. She was fed up.

"Before you leave, your assignment is to go back and help prepare Pamela for court." He didn't have to say anymore. It was the girl that was facing her uncle in court for raping and beating her. Now was the time for her to forget everything in her personal life and focus on her job. She left Cragen's office in a rage. Some from what happened, and also now to get this girl justice. She called Fin to go. She walked out of the precinct without making eye contact with anyone.

Elliot turned around from his desk enough to get a glimpse of her leaving with Fin. He was expecting her to take this hard, but not this hard. Everyone was pissed at him though. Cragen was just happy to have him back. Fin and Munch held an unspoken grudge against him. He could feel the tension in the room with everyone. He was beginning to wonder if it was worth coming back.

"Munch, Stabler. Just got a call. Woman raped in her apartment. Here's her address. Uni's are there already. Go."

This is why he did the job. He wanted justice, like the rest of the team. He needed to fix things and he knew that. It was going to take more than sorry. He was going to have to show everyone that he was back, and not going anywhere, including Olivia. He knew exactly what to do to get her to believe him, or he thought he did.

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**what's the plan? will elliot finally make things right with her? and the rest of the team? sorry for the shorter chapter! **

**also, i will be getting more into their detective work in the next chapter. reviews are appreciated:) thanks for reading! **


	3. Disarray

**so this is when elliot is trying to get everyone back to trust him and accept him as part of the team. and also in the middle of their hectic days. this is part of the girl's trial. it is going to be olivia on the stand to start this chapter. also, its been a week since the kiss/ david breaking things off. **

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_January 20th, 2012_

Alex Cabot stood up from her seat, prepared to call her next witness, Olivia. "The people call Detective Olivia Benson to the stand." Everyone watched as she entered the courtroom, looking professional as always. Nothing could break her focus when she was in the courtroom, or so she thought nothing could. She was the first detective to respond to the little girls' call after the police. The girl was in court most of the time. Her name was Pamela, 10 years old. She still had a few healing bruises and markings on her from the attack, but she looked much better than when Olivia first met her. This girl was so strong and determined, and Olivia couldn't help but admire her strength at her age.

Olivia was sworn in to testify.

"Detective Benson," Alex started, never calling her Olivia or Liv on the stand if she could help it. "When you got to the house, what did you see?"

"I saw an ambulance and two cop cars, with Pamela being wheeled out on a stretcher," she answered, keeping her answer short and concise.  
"What was the first thing you did, Detective?"

"I asked the cops there what had happened. I got the call from them about the attack and hadn't yet gotten details."  
"And when they told you? What did you do?"

"I was going to find her attacker, until the uni's told me there was no need because they had him," Olivia said, knowing what was coming up.  
"Who did Pamela say was her attacker?," Alex asked.

"Her uncle, Ron Werth." Olivia hardly glanced at the man. She wanted to hurt him and give him what she thought he deserved.

"Why was she there?," Alex asked, establishing that the girl had no choice.  
"Her mother and father were away for a weekend and he was the trusted guardian." Olivia was doing okay, until she looked past Alex. Elliot. He was there. She hadn't seen him in the courtroom in months. It took some adjusting to look up when testifying and not to see him there supporting her. This time he was looking right back at her. She was startled. She didn't hear Alex's questions anymore. Alex noticed immediately and looked, and saw him. She didn't know he was back, either. It took a second to regroup.

"Uhm.. When did the girl call the cops?"  
"She called... Saturday, October 14th of last year." Olivia never paused in the courtroom when answering. She was always quick and precise, and even the judge noticed this sudden difference.  
Alex quickly got her stride back. She was used to interruptions or distractions like that in the courtroom. "Why did she call 911?"

Olivia couldn't lose her focus, not now. This little girl depended on her to put this scum away. She took a breath but couldn't get Elliot out of her mind now. What happened at her apartment. Alex finally stood in her line of view. Olivia was able to answer.

"She... She called the cops and said her uncle had beaten her and raped her repeatedly," she stated.

Alex would stand there all day if she had to. She needed Olivia to focus on the case. She continued onto her next question. "Were you able to question her?"

"No. She was not conscious when paramedics got there, and did not wake up at the hospital. She was in a coma for a week." That answered a couple questions in one, so Alex could move on.

"Did Pamela remember what had happened?," Alex asked, a very crucial question to the case. She needed to establish that Olivia was not leading on the statement Pamela had given to the cops.

"She did remember most of it. She remembered him hitting her, and she also remembered him raping her. She gave us some details, and others we were able to fill in with medical evidence," Olivia answered, giving more detail for that question.

"What did the evidence show?"  
Defense attorney Trevor Langan stood up. "Objection! The Detective is not a doctor. She cannot say definitively what the injuries were."  
Alex shot back. "It is all in the report we gave defense with detailed descriptions of the injuries."

Judge Donnelly quickly said "Over ruled. Continue Detective Benson." Alex was right. Medical reports showed detailed descriptions that detectives could easily read off, and if clarification was needed then Alex could do that from her knowledge.

Olivia was ready to give that badass Benson look she was known for to defense, but didn't. "She had multiple fractures, bruises, and contusions. Medical evidence showed she had been repeatedly raped before that weekend."

"Detective, what did the doctors tell you the length of the abuse was?"  
"They said it looked like she had been getting abused for months. They couldn't tell me definitively but with the injuries they could tell me that," Olivia said. They were only putting this man in jail longer with each statement she was giving. Statute of limitations had not run out on the attacks, meaning each was a new count.

"What was Pamela able to tell you?," Alex asked, again making sure there was no leading in the girl's statement.  
"She said he had abused her since she was 9, meaning about 6 months until she called the cops," she answered.

"Thank you, Detective," Alex stated as she returned to her seat.

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After Langan had finished questioning her, Olivia got off the stand. Elliot tried meeting her on her way out of the courtroom. She didn't want to talk to him. He pursued her.

"Liv-" He tried grabbing her shoulder.

She turned around and snapped, throwing his hand off of her. "First, you don't get to call me that. Second, you almost fucking screwed our case by doing that!"  
"Doing what?," he asked. He really didn't do anything. She was just really angry and confused about what had happened between them.

"Being here! Elliot, you should have stayed away for good. You shouldn't have come back." There it was. More anger, and being more on her guard. That hurt him to see her like this, and also what she had just said to him. He knew now it was going to be harder to get her back. As a friend_,_ and to make her believe him.

He watched her walk away from him. He had no choice but to let her go.

Later that day, everyone was back at the precinct. It was awkwardly silent between the 4 of them. It had never been like that before. They had all gotten used to him being gone. The 3 of them had a routine after he left, and him coming back put an unbalance in their routine.

Elliot broke the silence. "Guys, really. If you want to talk to me, fine. But sitting here, like this, it's fucking pathetic. I have told all of you I am not leaving again. This time I have something that is truly going to keep me here. I have nothing else other than the job now. I let Kathy leave. I am going out for drinks. You all are more than welcome to join. It's on me," Elliot said, and with that he got out of his seat and grabbed his jacket off of the chair. He walked out as everyone watched, then looked at each other once he was gone, not believing what they heard.

"Well, can't pass up free drinks," Fin said. It didn't mean things were okay, but it was a start. He walked out after making sure the paperwork left was in order.

Munch went behind him. Olivia sat at her desk alone. She had a lot to think about. Mainly about him, and what he did to her. She thought like she did the night in her apartment. It had been a week since then. She had hardly slept, thought, or ate without thinking of him. Everything she did revolved around him. It wasn't much of a change from what she had been doing before. It was more intense now.

The night in her apartment changed everything. It scared her, only because it brought up every feeling she ever had for him. She didn't let her guard down easily, and that night it crashed down. That's what scared her. Putting it back up was the only way she could protect herself. But it was also stopping her from having a life with the person she wanted so desparately, and it killed her to think of it that way.

She got out of her chair and went to the elevator. She didn't know if she was making the right decision, but it was the one she felt was right to make.

She didn't question which bar they were at. It was the one they always met at as a group after a tough day, _DiMarco's._

She walked in to see the three of them at a booth. Elliot looked at her, and it made her stop in her footsteps. He had to quit doing that to her before it killed her.

She was frozen, in the doorway. He tried walking over to her, but she wouldn't allow it. She was ready to walk out of the bar, until the rest of the team got up to welcome her to the table.

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**what happens as they sit down for a chat? is elliot fixing things or making things worse? did she make the right choice? PLEASE REVIEW! here or twitter! i want to know what everyone thinks of it! :) thanks as always for reading! **


	4. Fix A Heart

**so the group is now back together... somewhat. nothing is okay again, or not yet. what does olivia do? does she runaway, or stay? this has a rewrite of what really happens for her to get the Semper Fi necklace. just sayin ;) **

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Olivia noticed the tension wasn't as severe as it was at the precinct. Everyone was mellowed out from drinking a bit. They talked about Elliot leaving and what did it. Olivia stayed quiet. Fin and Munch understood. Olivia had heard it all before. He looked at her a lot while he was talking about everything, which made her very uncomfortable. Fin and Munch were bullshitting too much with each other to notice.

Elliot told the guys to excuse him and Olivia. She didn't want to really go but causing a scene would be embarrassing. She hadn't said much the whole conversation and he wanted to get her away from the group for a minute. They had more to talk about than him leaving, if she didn't runaway from him, or get angry like at the courthouse.

It made him nervous to take her away from the group. He knew she could snap at him at any second, for anything. She had every right to be angry at him. He was angry at himself for leaving. He didn't know if he could ever forgive himself for it. And he was terrified wondering.. Would she be able to?

They went outside and under the streetlights on the side of the building.  
"Liv, we need to talk," he said. Those are the words no one likes hearing. She was scared of what he might say now. She stood away from him, her body in a guarded position.

"Liv... We need to talk about us." He grabbed her hand and she looked up, at his face. She was tired. Tired of fighting, tired of waiting, tired of not knowing.

"I don't know what you are thinking.. I am here to stay. I am not going to leave again. I promise you right now, Olivia..." He paused and reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a box. She didn't say anything. She opened her mouth to say something, but nothing came out. If that was what she thought it was she was going to freak out.

"Liv... This is a promise to you." He opened the box to a necklace, and she started laughing.  
"What's so funny?," he said, not being able to help but smile at her laughing. He missed that smile and laugh of hers. It was contagious and he loved it.  
"I thought... you were going to propose," she said in between laughing.

"I thought this was a pretty good start," he said, still laughing. This reassured him he was doing the right thing.  
She looked at the necklace, it was his Semper Fi necklace. He never left anything for her when he left before, and she was shocked he was giving this to her. She knew he truly meant it now.

"I don't break promises," he said, taking it out of the box and putting it on her. She teared up a bit at this gesture.  
"I know," she whispered, now grabbing the necklace she had.

She looked at him again, seeing him leaning towards her. She couldn't move again. She didn't want to this time. He knew she was scared, and he was scared of what they may become, but this is what they both wanted.

His lips met hers for a soft kiss. This time she wasn't going to stop him. The kiss deepened quickly and was powerful, more than the first time. They knew this meant more, and whatever this brought to them they were ready for it.

They were wrapped around each other. She was moaning into his mouth as they kissed, and she felt him pushing into her insistently. They finally had to break for a second to catch their breaths.

"We..." he started, "should get back inside," he said. He kissed her again before she could talk to reassure her. "In case you missed anything I said earlier."  
"I don't know my name right now, give me a few minutes," she teased. Now she wanted to get out of there. What his kiss did to her, always did, she could have sworn she died. She couldn't imagine what other things were like with him. She had to take a breath and think of something else before she got too overwhelmed with it.

They straightened out what they could of their clothes. "We will have to get out of here... quickly," he said before going into the bar. Olivia nodded her head in agreeance. They had to act like everything was somewhat normal between them like the guys were, and not think of what they wanted to do to each other now, and that was very hard not to do after that kiss.

"What happened to you guys?," Munch asked, and they thought their cover was blown.

"What do you mean?," Olivia asked, trying not to look scared from what he just said.  
"The look like you are going to kill him is gone. You seem calmer."  
"That is one way of putting it," Elliot said casually looking at her. She gave him a kick under the booth to his shin. She saw him jump and mouth 'Ow' to her. She chuckled.

"Well, that's good. Now things won't be as bad at work. I am glad we are back together," Fin admitted. "And not getting on each other's nerves... yet," he said. They all shared a laugh. It would happen sooner or later between them. It would come from an all nighter, if someone put a bad pot of coffee on, or anything small that pissed someone off for no reason. It was the way their team worked.

After an hour, they had to call it a night. It was a bit past 10, and they all had to get up and work in the morning. They loved catching up from the time they had lost with each other, but they had other things on their mind. She drank a bit more and was having more fun by the time her and Elliot left. Fin and Munch took a cab to their places, and Elliot and Olivia took one to her place. They got into the cab and as soon as the door shut they were talking and teasing with each other with comments, trying to keep it together for the cab ride.

It was a 10 minute ride, and Elliot threw money at the driver and told him thank you as they got out of the cab. Elliot and Olivia moved towards her building, losing their balance some while kissing along the way. They laughed before breaking apart to walk to her apartment, both trying to catch some of their breath back. She fumbled around for her keys, and even with the doubt in the back of her mind, she pushed it out because now it was too good to stop. Her being a bit tipsy helped her be more forward than she would normally be, but not to the point where she couldn't think for herself.

Their kissing grew more intense and more desparate by the second. They moaned as they kissed and pushed into each other. He led her back into a wall and she let him. He stopped kissing her and moved his mouth to her neck.

"El," she half moaned. The sounds she made just from him doing this to her made him hard. Her hands clawed at his back trying to get his shirt untucked. He stopped again to lift her shirt off. She raised her hands to help get it off.

Elliot looked at her before gently kissing her. He wanted her to know this wasn't just sex for him. She had pictured this moment a million times, and it was more perfect than she could have hoped for. Everything was perfect. "You're beautiful," he whispered, with his mouth still close to hers. She smiled shyly now at him.

He looked in her eyes again as he touched her bra. She nodded giving him permission to remove it. He knew she may stop him at any moment and didn't want to do this if she didn't fully want it. He reached around her body and unhooked it, kissing her shoulder as he slowly removed it. They started off frenzied but he wanted this to mean something. He was going torturously slow with what he was doing. He kissed his way down her neck and collar bone, finding a spot that drove her crazy. Anything he did was driving her crazy, and he used it to his advantage.

"El. Shit," she cursed and gasped as his mouth found her right nipple. Her head flew back into the wall and her body writhed against him. She wanted more. She _needed _more. His right hand found her left nipple and teased and pulled on it. She was making sounds that he moaned at, and it spurred him on as his movements grew faster. He flicked his tongue repeatedly and twisted on one and she felt it going straight between her legs.

She felt like she was going to die from this if he didn't move soon. She continued cursing at him and he chuckled as he heard her breathing become strained. He moved his right hand down between her legs and watched her face as he rubbed back and forth harshly. If she wasn't against the wall for any of this she would have fallen over. He found the other nipple and sucked on it as he did the other. The friction of her pants made this unbearable.

"Fuck, El! Please!," she screamed. Her body was on fire and she needed him.

He poked his fingers through the material teasing more, earning another scream of pleasure from her. He was doing this on purpose. His pants were tighter than ever and he was going to lose it soon as well. He didn't want her to know that, though.

He stopped, finally allowing her body some relief. She was so close right now another touch might have sent her over the edge. She hated that he stopped because she was so close, but at the same time nothing had even started and she was about to explode. He knelt down on the floor, again looking up at her, and she couldn't get a word out, but nodded again frantically. He removed her pants and underwear in one grab.

She looked at him as he quickly removed his pants and boxer briefs himself. Olivia stared at his rock hard dick and was turned on more. She wanted this so bad right now.

He kissed from her stomach to her core. She moaned with each inch he moved closer. She anticipated it and she watched as he looked in her eyes. She spread her legs as far as they would go and watched as he licked her slit. Her head hit the wall.  
"Fuck El! Oh my god!," she screamed and moaned as he continued. He latched onto her clit and sucked hard before flicking his tongue back and forth on it. "EL! OH!" She felt her muscles starting to tighten. Elliot plunged 2 fingers inside her and continued on her clit.

She screamed as her body tightened and she contracted around his fingers. "OH right there! FUCK! Oh my god! Elliot!" Her body exploded as he continued his movements, prolonging her orgasm. She was grabbing what she could around her.

He picked her up and she hooked her legs around him as they kissed. She could hardly feel anything. She was in oblivion from what he had just done to her. She couldn't think of her own name let alone walk. He carried her to the bedroom and laid her down on the bed before climbing on top of her.  
"Liv, are you sure?," he asked, not wanting to go all the way if she had a bit of doubt. He knew she may turn around and hate him in the morning but he wanted her to be sure now.

"Yes," she whispered, looking into her eyes. He kissed her again before lining up at her entrance. He entered her slowly and they both moaned at the feeling.

"Liv. Oh my god," he grunted at the resistence he met.  
"El, shit." He had barely entered her and it was already amazing. He continued moving until he was all the way in, setting a slower pace. It was a tight fit. Olivia moved against him as they kissed.

"El," she asked in a breathless and questioning tone before he looked at her. "Faster," she told him. The slight pain she felt at first was now all pleasure.

He began to move at a quicker pace, causing the fire to build in them both. "Fuck El," she said as he hit spots within her that no one else ever had. She arched her body as they moved quicker.  
"Liv, look at me," he said. She struggled to open her eyes but when she did he moved faster and harder as he felt he was on the verge of exploding.

He reached down and swiped over her clit in time with his thrusts, earning screams and moans from her. He grunted as he hit into her harder. He exited almost completely from her and gave one final thrust before she exploded. He continued swiping her clit as her orgasm took over her body. She clawed at his back and met his thrusts. Her toes curled as he pushed past her walls until he couldn't anymore, then let everything he had go before collapsing on top of her. Both breathless, they lay there for a moment before he started speaking.

He kissed her deeply before grabbing her necklace. "I promise," he said. It was all he said to her. She teared up at him saying it and getting this, what she finally wanted. She couldn't believe they just did that.

It was the most amazing sex either of them had ever had, and they didn't need to say it. It was also the most meaningful moments for them in one night. This night was a milestone for them in many ways. Promises were made, and now the question was whether or not those promises would be kept.

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**hopefully i did that some justice lol. i didnt want it to be she was drunk off her ass when they did that, and also tried making it clear that she is still scared, but willing to give it a chance between them. i am not done yet with this story, if everyone likes it that is! what happens now that everything is sort of going right for them? what does it mean for the team? please review:) thanks so much to anyone who is reading! **


	5. Hold On

**so now what happens? they have been together now. does she get scared and run? does he? what about at work? things are pretty good between the team and everyone is willing to give him a chance again. but does that mean everyone can forgive and forget?  
**  
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Elliot and Olivia woke up the next morning to the sound of their alarms ringing. They were tangled up in each other from the night before. She moaned before reaching for hers. He was wrapped around her snuggly and she was comfortable. Moving was the last thing either of them wanted to do.

She didn't try to run or hurry and grab her things, or tell him to get out. She was laying there, with him, in the same bed. Both of them were shocked at this. Even though both of them felt the same way about the night before, she couldn't help but still be scared. She trusted him, but it was only her holding her back. Getting hurt so many times in life caused her to build high and sturdy walls.

"Liv," he said, knocking her out of her thoughts, "We have to move," he said with a smile on his face. He leaned over and kissed her cheek and he felt her tense up.

"What's wrong?," he asked, suddenly feeling tense himself over what she was about to say.

"Nothing..," she said, hoping he would let it go.  
"I can see you're lying Liv," he told her.

She sighed heavily. "Us... I'm not used to this, someone being here with me..all night. David was-"  
"An asshole, for leaving you the way he did. He was here when you woke up, yes, but him leaving you proved he didn't love you enough to fight for it," he said, and she felt like crying. He was telling the truth, but it meant so much to hear him say something like that when she was feeling scared about everything.

"Liv, I'm willing to fight for this," he whispered and turned her face towards him to kiss her. She felt the tears flowing as they continued kissing. Finally they broke apart. He wiped the tears from her eyes and stared at her deep brown eyes for a minute in silence. They smiled at each other as he was the first to move out of bed. They both needed to shower and now they were running late from laying there too long. She went to the kitchen to put on coffee for the both of them. She would have made breakfast if she had anything for it in the cupboards.

She didn't realize how sore she was from the night before until moving around some. She couldn't help but smile a bit at it though. It proved to her this was happening. Finally. She had to stop before getting too caught up in her thoughts from the night. It was mindblowing, and she never knew she could have that much pleasure from anyone. She heard the bathroom door open and that was her cue to go in. They had to move quickly now or get in trouble for being late.

They were both so tempted to do everything all over again from the previous night, but now both of their cell phones were ringing because they were a few minutes late and it kept them on track.

They left the apartment quickly and locked the door. She answered her phone and said she was running late and Elliot had just picked her up. It covered them both, but also made sense. He usually picked her up before. It didn't seem that suspicious to the others that way.

The squad watched as they walked in a rushed pace towards their desks. Cragen noticed but figured it wasn't a big deal. They were there now and that was what mattered. They were a half hour late though. They had never been late until now. He forgot about it quickly when her phone rang.

"Benson." She got out her paper and pad and started writing down what was being said on the phone. "Okay... I will be there soon." She hung up and looked at her pad, saddened.

"Uni's just called and said... Pamela was attacked and killed this morning..." This was the girl that Olivia had helped through everything, and now she wouldn't see her rapist put to justice. It wasn't fair that this girl had gone through what she had to be to where she was.

"Who?," Elliot asked, shocked at what she just said.  
"They don't know yet, she was stabbed to death...," she told them as Cragen tried to speak up. She kept her eyes down as she spoke, trying not to let the tears fall.  
"Fin, why don't you and Elliot take this one?," he said, noticing they were better than the day before together.

"No, Captain, I want to go," Olivia told him, looking up to defend her going to the scene.  
"Liv, I don't think that's a-"  
"Captain, you have always told me we don't get to pick the vic."

"Yes, but this isn't a good idea. You don't need to see her like this," he said, knowing it was bad for any of them, but especially her since she was closest to the case.

"And they do need to see her like this?," she pointed out what he was thinking.  
He sighed heavily. He knew where she was coming from because it had happened a few times before. A case they had gotten close to had ended badly, and they would want to see what had happened for themselves.  
"Okay.. But Liv, if it gets too much I will have you pulled off the case. Elliot, I want you going with her," he said. He knew Elliot and Olivia were the closest of the team.

She nodded and they left the precinct, silently thanking Cragen by nodding her head for letting him be with her. Elliot knew this one was going to hurt her for a while. He knew he needed to be there for her every step of the way, and he was going to be.

He tried talking to her on the elevator ride down. "Liv, you know I am-"  
"Elliot, I'm fine," she said, coldly with no emotion. He knew it was her way of protecting herself from pain. She didn't like expressing her emotions in front of others, or even alone most of the time. She had earlier that morning unexpectedly with him. He would have to talk with her later, because doing it now may piss her off enough to shut down completely, and that was the last thing he wanted.

"Okay," he responded, knowing it was all he could do at the moment.

There was complete silence in the car on the way to Pamela's house, about a 20 minute drive from the precinct. Olivia was trying to prepare herself for the scene she was about to see, even though there was no way to prepare for seeing something like this.

The house was blocked off with crime scene tape enough so law enforcement could get in and out efficiently as they worked. She saw Pamela's parents crying hysterically outside the house and tape. She felt so horrible for them. It was one thing to deal with a child being attacked the way she had been already by someone they trusted and loved, and now dealing with her death all at once. Also finding their daughter the way they had. It is something no parent should have to go through.

"Mr. and Mrs. Baker, I am truly sorry for your loss," she said as she stopped near them, feeling all the sadness they were.  
"Thank you," Mrs. Baker said. "You helped her so much Detective Benson, and because of you she was going to be okay. We will forever be in debt to you for giving our daughter the strength she needed and helping her through this. Please find who did this to her."

Olivia was about to cry by such kind words. "Your daughter... was truly something special, and I will find who did this and get her justice," Olivia told them. "I promise." She didn't break her promises. "And if you ever need anything, do not hesitate to call me," she added. She knew this had to be hard, and it was hard for her, but she only hoped if they needed it that they would call her.

"Thank you, I don't want this to be the last time we talk," Mrs. Baker said through her tears.  
"It won't be. I better get going..," Olivia said. They both nodded as she turned to Elliot, standing waiting for her. He could see her face full of sadness and worry as she went in. He was just as sad and felt everything she was feeling about this.

As they entered everything looked put together as it should. She looked up the stairs where she knew Pamela's room was from being there before and felt sick to her stomach. The unmistakable smell of death filled the air as they walked up the stairs. He stayed close to her as they saw the first room on the left. Pamela's room.

The sight before them was horrific. There was blood splattered all over the walls from cast off. Her room was torn apart from her fighting off the attacker and possible robbery. Pamela lay lifeless on her bed, in a pool of her own blood, and covered in it. Olivia was about to fall over from seeing it. She had seen so many things over the years, but this was horrible. Elliot looked at her as she took in the scene, and he was just as disturbed by it. Olivia went right into work as she tried moving past what she was talking about. Her first question was unpleasant.

"Any fluids?," she asked, hoping Pamela hadn't endured a second sexual assault.  
"So far, no. We have checked the bed. There was nothing."

A bit of relief in this tragedy. Olivia could see the defensive wounds. This girl truly fought until she had nothing left. "The attacker must have ambushed her while she was asleep. There was no way to get an advantage from where she was," Olivia said, looking away from Pamela, and towards the bedroom window. She didn't have a chance being her size and age.

She walked to it and found fresh marks from it being opened. "This is how they got in. This couldn't have been a random attack," Olivia pointed out, knowing many people liked her uncle because he was someone of great standing in the community. It couldn't have been him, though because he had been locked up in Riker's since the trial began, and still was. Now they had to get everyone together who had threatened Pamela directly or indirectly or someone close to her.

This was going to be a hard investigation, and Olivia was more than determined to find who did it and get Pamela the justice she had deserved since this nightmare began. Olivia and Elliot went back to the precinct, not noticing they were being followed by someone, and someone they knew well.

**$* #$ $( #**

**who is following them? what happens with olivia and elliot? and who killed pamela? thought that would be a good twist to add! it was sad though! thanks for reading as always and please leave a review! here or twitter :)**


	6. Avalanche

**thanks everyone who is reviewing/adding to alerts! means alot :) now back to the story, how is olivia doing after what's happened? who is following them? there were a couple guesses in the previous reviews, but find out now! **

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**  
The ride back to the precinct was just as silent as the way to the house. They had their notes and investigation going now. She was going to throw herself into this case. She didn't want to think about what she had seen, just thinking about catching the person who did it.

"Liv?," Elliot said as he got out of the car. She was in her own thoughts. He could only imagine what she was thinking.

He walked up to the passenger side and it snapped her out of her thoughts. He saw the look on her face. It was sadness, shock, and determination at once. He was worried about her. He knew she did this with the toughest cases, but this one may have been far worse than the others to deal with. No one could truly handle the cases involving children.

She walked past him, without saying a word. Elliot ran up to her and grabbed her arm to turn her around. "Liv! Stop!," he said as he looked at her.  
"What Elliot? Get the hell off of me!," she said, half heartedly trying to get him off. They both knew what he was doing. He grabbed her arms tighter to hold her there. He was trying to get her to talk to him before they went in. The frustration, sadness, and anger had already built up enough inside of her from this, and she needed to talk about this.

"Liv, you can't work this case! Look what it's already done to you!," he said as she was now struggling even harder against his hold, fighting the tears that were about to fall.  
"I CAN work this case and I WILL work this case!," she told him. "I'm fine to do my job! I'm not gonna runaway like you did because of what happened!," she yelled. He knew it was only her own anger and sadness getting to her but that one still hurt to hear. He let go of her and looked at her as she realized what she had said. Her eyes were widened fighting the tears still. She tried to speak. "Elli-"

He was already walking away. Now what had she done? She just ruined what she had because of her own stupidity. She had no choice but to put herself together and walk into the precinct like nothing was wrong. She had done it before and she could do it again.

The person watching from a distance couldn't help but have a smirk on their face. This is what they were waiting for to happen to them, and now was the time to make their move. They started going into the precinct where they had to check in on the main floor.

Olivia was a few feet behind Elliot walking back in. The team sensed nothing wrong between them until they weren't interacting the same as they were before. Just as Munch and Fin were going to ask, someone walked in.

"Olivia! There you are!," he said with a smile as if nothing happened between them.  
"David? What the hell are you doing here?," she asked, quite confused as to why he was coming to see her. He broke it off just a week ago and now he was acting friendly like this with her? This was not a good day to see him either.

"Oh, I came by to see if you wanted to grab a coffee later. Me and a few of my colleagues are and it would be a pleasure for them to meet you," he explained.  
"Can we go somewhere else?," she said, getting out of her seat. No one except Elliot knew the full extent of the relationship that had ended between them. She led him to the interrogation room.

Elliot gave the guy the death glare. He had never formally met him but when Olivia said David he knew instantly who it was. Olivia hadn't given Elliot the full story, but knew this was the person that left Olivia and had broken her heart.

She shut the door. "David. What the hell? You broke it off with me and-"  
"I know I did, because of the job. But now I am trying to get transferred to a different precinct entirely and we can be together. I am sorry," he said as genuinely as he could. She wasn't buying it.  
"You just can't come back here and expect me to give you another shot! That would be stupid! And why now? Why after you transfer? You could have stayed and explained things to me."

"I know you are upset... I get that. I really do, but can't we just go for one coffee and talk things out?"  
"NO!," she said harshly, trying to be strong about this, but feeling like there wasn't closure to her and David. There were a million thoughts a minute and she couldn't sort through them as her and David were talking.

"Why not? We can talk about us. We can start where we left off."  
"Where we left off was me leaving you at the bar after you told me it wasn't working. YOU chose this," she told him as she started pacing.  
"Liv! Please. All I ask is one coffee. That's it. It isn't even a date! Just friends to see where it goes," he pleaded.

She stood there. She was confused on where her and Elliot were as of now and had no idea what David's intentions were, but she was not in the right mindset when she answered.

She sighed heavily. "Fine. A coffee that's it. I don't know when because we have a really big case. So will you leave me alone about it now?," she snapped at him. She just wanted the day to be over.

"Yes," he said smiling. He had gotten what he came for. They left the interrogation room. Elliot watched him leave with a new confidence to him and got scared. What just happened?

Liv walked out with her head down.

No one said anything to her, and Elliot didn't want to set her off in the middle of the squadroom. That was the last thing anyone needed.

She sat at her desk and continued scanning through her leads and files for their killer. She made a list of possible suspects. It was everyone that had contact with Pamela throughout the trial. It was a never ending list it seemed. There were many people who grew to care and love this little girl throughout the trial as Olivia had. It took them a few hours to make one compiled and organized list. They split up into their teams and left the precinct. Elliot and Olivia got to the car and Elliot started talking first.

"Liv whatever the hell happened between you and David earlier-"  
"It's nothing. We are meeting for coffee," she said. She didn't know why he was nice to her after earlier. This only made her day more confusing and tiring.

"Coffee? Why the hell would you give him the time of day?"  
"Sorry didn't know I had to pass my life through you now," she said sarcastically.

"You don't. But that guy?," Elliot said, scoffing. She didn't answer back. For the second time that day, they drove in complete silence. Elliot wasn't going to try again right now. She needed to be pushed to talk but not now.

The list started with the girl's friends. Olivia got to know a few of these girls quite well and after meeting with them knew there was no way they could have done this. They had to rule them out though.

Olivia and Elliot went to Pamela's aunt's house. Anne Peters. Olivia had little or no contact with her because she never went to the trial, and claimed it was hard to hear everything in great detail. Olivia understood that.

They knocked on the front door, and her aunt answered looking a bit together for finding out she just lost her niece hours before.  
"Mrs. Peters, I am here to ask you a few questions about Pamela. This is my partner, Detective Stabler."

"Oh detectives, please, come in," she said politely.

They followed her to the living room and stood as she sat down.  
"We are both truly sorry for your loss," Olivia told her, watching her reaction, not an unexpected one in this situation.  
"Thank you..." was all Anne said.  
"When was the last time you saw Pamela?," Olivia asked.  
"Uhm... Yesterday after court. I had finally gone because I knew the trial was coming to an end," she explained.  
"Why?," Olivia inquired.

"Because I knew... Pamela needed all the support she could get," she told them. Olivia didn't know if Elliot was buying this anymore than she was.

"Okay... Did Pamela mention anyone maybe acting funny with her about the trial?," Olivia asked. Elliot was sitting there, because he wasn't as involved in the case and lives as Olivia was. He was there to listen.

Mrs. Peters paused, thinking about it before answering. "You know... There was one person that comes to mind. In court, after we left he approached Pamela. He said something but I couldn't overhear. Seemed odd. He wore jeans and a long sleeved coat. I asked Pamela who it was and she didn't say. She let it go. I let it go," she explained. "I didn't get a good look at him, but my sister may be able to tell you who," Mrs. Peters told them.

"Where did you go after court?," she asked.  
"I went out to try to eat since I hadn't all day then went home. Pamela and her family were there with me," she explained.

There it was. Another inconsistency. "Where did you eat?," Olivia asked, trying to gauge how close she was to Pamela's house.  
"We ate about 20 minutes from here. A place called Evans. Why does that matter?," Anne asked, starting to get defensive with them.

"Standard questions," Olivia told her.  
"Oh," she said.  
"And where did you go after eating?"  
"I said goodnight to all of them, and came home, around 9. I got a cab home."  
"We are going to need the cab company," Olivia told her.  
Anne looked at them, feeling uneasy. "I'm sorry... I don't remember anything about the cab."

Olivia caught it again. The inconsistency, but that was the last of their questions for now. "Okay. Thank you. We will let you know if we have other questions," Olivia said as they headed out.

Elliot knew she would talk about the case and the case only. "Did you see her almost talking like she had that planned?"  
"Yeah, and she never has gone to the trial until yesterday. It makes no sense to start going now when she claimed it was too hard. Yesterday was just as bad as the other days," Olivia told him. "And she had a lot of inconsistencies in that story." Elliot agreed.

They both had that gut feeling that told them it was her. Now they just had to prove it.

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**a lot in this chapter! olivia agreed to coffee with david, so what does that do to them? where do olivia and elliot stand? and is the aunt the killer? please review:) i appreciate it! thanks for reading!**


	7. If It Takes All Night

**thanks for the review Sidle13:) thanks to anyone for their continued support of the story! keeps me writing! **

** Amanda4Meloni... your review made me laugh. i dont like haden. never have, never will. i only liked benson being happy. and she is happiest with elliot;) **  
**what happens now? olivia and elliot? the case? this chap is gonna focus on the case, and then get into david and olivia within the next couple chapters...**  
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"What have we got guys?," Cragen said as Olivia and Elliot walked back into the precinct, looking determined and focused. Alex Cabot was also standing there because they needed to know they were on the right track for a warrant, and if not then she maybe could find loopholes to get them what they needed.

Olivia started as she looked at the case file and went to the board to make their connections in the case. "The aunt is our prime suspect right now. She had never gone to any of Pamela's trial until the other day, and she said she knew it was past the worst part of the trial. Every part of a trial is ugly, and everyone knows that before they go, especially family close to the victims. Then the story she gave me and Elliot was very inconsistent. She would have a motive against Pamela accusing her husband in the rape. She also tried pointing Elliot and I to some guy in the courthouse, which I already called Pamela's mom. It's her brother, which Anne would know because it's her nephew. Then she had little to no emotion giving Elliot and I her explanations to questions," Olivia explained. She knew this was their perp, and proving it right now was not working out.

"Captain, Olivia and I both have a feeling this is our perp. We just need a warrant for evidence," Elliot told him.

"Well a feeling isn't going to get us a conviction. How many others were mad at Pamela for pointing the finger at her uncle? Alex, what do you think?," he asked, looking at her.

She paused before answering. "Did you ask her where she was after the trial or when she last saw Pamela?," she asked. She needed motive, means, and oppertunity to get a solid case.  
"Yes. She last saw her after court yesterday and then didn't see her after everyone left. She lives alone now, so any alibi she gives cannot be corroberated unless she was in a public place at that time of night," Elliot stated.

"Alright, I can get you a warrant, but I need to know exactly what you are looking for before going in there," Alex said. She knew a lot of leniant judges on warrants, but even they wouldn't give a warrant without solid reasons.

"Well, Warner said the weapon used was most likely a standard kitchen knife, or some kind of common knife. We would need any knives or possible weapons like that. We would also be looking for gloves because there were no unusual fingerprints at the scene," Olivia said with no emotion. She needed to keep herself detached from the case to keep it together. Elliot saw her face change as she talked about the case, she would feel everything later, when no one was around to see her. He knew her and how she acted.

"Okay, and what about messages? Did the aunt ever call or leave letters for Pamela? Something that could suggest this would happen?," Alex asked.  
"They were searching Pamela's room for things like that. So far nothing has come up suggesting who may have done this," Olivia said.

"I will put that in the warrant as well. She may have been planning it," Alex told them. Everyone knew she was right. The aunt was probably planning this since the start of the trial and just needed an oppertunity to use it. Olivia was thankful to her that she was going to try to get so much in the warrant. It definitely was a stretch but Alex was confident in the detectives that if she could get a proper search warrant, then they would be able to charge Anne Peters for Pamela's murder.

Alex walked out of the squad room and told the detectives she would call as soon as she had news on her warrant.

They were nervous, but also relieved they were getting somewhere in the case. Any case they had there was always a chance there would be no leads or suspects for days or even months. Olivia sat at her desk looking through her case file, Pamela's case file. It was not real to her. She had that thought maybe this was all a nightmare. Pamela was still alive and she was only sleeping. It took her seconds to snap out of it, and realize yes this was a nightmare, but she wasn't sleeping. Elliot and Olivia sat in silence for an hour, something they did a lot that day unless they were talking about the case. Elliot was about to talk to her, to see how she was truly handling this. Before he had the chance her phone rang.

"Benson," she answered. "Okay we're on it. Thanks Alex. We have the search warrant already." Elliot looked at her almost shocked. That was fast. It was now 8 p.m. Donnelly saw the potential in the case and gave the search warrant to them. However, the case right now was all circumstantial. Donnelly warned her of that, but Alex had won cases with less.

They got to the house to find Munch and Fin already there with CSU and uni's searching the house.  
Olivia noticed the display of kitchen knives and scissors she had. She saw them all being bagged to be tested. She hoped they put a rush on it. She went into the living room and saw them looking through drawers for letters or anything suggestive about the attack. Then she heard Elliot yell from upstairs. "Liv! You might wanna come see this," he said.

She ran up the stairs to Anne's bedroom. Nothing looked unusual, until Elliot pointed her attention to what he had in his hands. It was a small diary. There was no title, but inside there was countless pages of Anne's writings about how much she hated what Pamela had done. There was one page that said in bold writing, "I will get back at the little bitch for what she has done to me and my husband." That sent chills down Olivia's spine. She was also infuriated knowing what it meant.

They bagged up anything that looked suspicious. It took them a few hours, but the house was cleared out by midnight. It was late. But there was one last thing Olivia had to do before the night for her ended. She walked outside with Elliot behind her. She walked right to Anne.

Anne seemed confused and started rambling. "Oh detective you must know they have the wrong person for this!," she pleaded. Olivia heard none of it as she told Anne to turn around. "Anne Peters, you are under arrest for the murder of Pamela Baker. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law..." Olivia finished mirandizing her as she led her to the car. It felt like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. Pamela was going to get the justice she deserved.

They took Anne to booking for the night. Cragen wanted them in the best mindset before the interrogation. They had worked all day on this case, plus what she had worked already from knowing Pamela. Olivia didn't want to wait. She wanted to crack Anne open. She wanted answers. She also knew Cragen was right. It had been a horrible day for her and she needed to get some rest. Sleep wasn't looking like a sure thing right now either with all the thoughts swimming through her mind.

Elliot was able to give her a ride home. She went to the car after booking Anne. He was thankful she didn't walk home or fight him on it. However, he knew it would be another silent car ride. She wouldn't talk to him no matter what he did. The more he pushed the more she got pissed. And he didn't want to push her away more than she was. He let her be silent. He wanted her to be ready to talk.

Olivia was thinking and wasn't sure what she was going to do about David. She knew when she met for coffee it would probably be awkward for her more so than him. Elliot wanted to stop it, but knew he couldn't. The more he pushed against it or said anything about how he didn't want it to happen, the more she would want to go just to prove Elliot didn't control her.

They arrived at her apartment, and Elliot turned to her before she got out. "Liv, I'm sorry."  
She sighed. "You keep saying that, but you're only saying it now so I won't go with David tomorrow," she told him.

"Liv, I didn't want to fight today, and I really truly mean it when I say sorry. I am saying it so you know that I am, and I don't care right now if you hate me. I want you to be happy, and if that means to be with David, then be with David," he said, shocked he was saying it after what had happened the night before, but knew she didn't need a lecture or fight with her about her date. They weren't anything official right now. He promised he would never leave again, and he was keeping that promise now by saying what he was. "I will always be here for you." She looked down, feeling the tears stinging her eyes. She also felt the Semper Fi necklace around her neck, and knew he meant that.

"I'm sorry for today, too," she said in a partial whisper. She couldn't fight against this anymore. Today was the worst day already, and then thinking she was going to let him go over their fight. She did not mean it when she said something that hurt him the most. It came from a place of being angry and scared.

She felt so much for him that it hurt. She wanted to be happy, too. That is all she wanted in life was to be happy. She knew that she would be the happiest woman on earth with Elliot. This was becoming so complicated over a fight. They both knew now life was too short to worry about the small things. Life was too short to waste time being angry.

"El?," she looked at him.  
"Yeah Liv?," he looked at her again, happy she used his nickname. He hadn't heard it all day and was knew it meant she had forgiven him.  
"Thanks," she said.  
"For what?," he asked confused.  
"For being there for me."  
"Always will be," he told her again. "I will be here in the morning, Liv. 6:30," he said.  
"You can stay if you want," she invited.

He looked at her, almost shocked she offered. It would be easier so he didn't have to get up as early to be to her apartment by 6: 30. "I can if you want me to." He knew it didn't mean for sex.

"It's fine with me, if I didn't want you to I wouldn't have offered," she laughed.  
He smiled at her. "Fine with me, too then." He shut off the car and they went up to her apartment together. She went to her room, and when Elliot started getting blankets and pillows for the couch, she stopped him.  
"Elliot the bed is big enough for 2," she said.

He paused and looked at her. "I know that, I just figured you didn't want me in there," he told her.  
"Well you figured wrong," she teased. She was never forward about this sorta thing and he knew that. That is why it shocked him so much.  
They finished getting ready for bed and climbed in. He loved the feel of her body against him. He wrapped his arms protectively around her. They fit perfect together.

She trusted him enough to let him back in right now, and he knew he couldn't screw up again. He was determined not to screw up again. He was terrified of losing her again, over a fight. They were relieved to know things were okay right now. She needed this after the day she had. He needed it as much as she did, and was glad she allowed him to be there for her. Now she had to figure out what was going to happen with David.

They didn't know someone was not happy to see them this way, and he was now infuriated. He made a mistake letting her go. He was going to get her back from Elliot. He was going to prove she belonged with him.

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**soon i am going to get into david/olivia! just so everyone knows david was supposed to be kathy at first, but thought no one would expect david to run back in like this lol... i wanted this chapter to say she forgave elliot. it took a little while but she needed to know he was still there for her after what happened. i figured it was realistic she wouldnt stay mad at him THAT long for their fight. same for him. it happens. and this is also what proves it to her that they can be together. i have more e/o soon! reviews make me very happy;) thanks for reading! **


	8. It's Not Over

**thanks so much for reviews/adds to favorites:) the interrogation will be in the story also. in the next chapter. the whole david/olivia situation is coming up too. **

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Olivia blinked open her eyes. She squinted as she saw the time on the alarm clock on her bedside table. 3 30. She had done this the last couple nights, knowing about Pamela was weighing on her mind heavily now, too. Elliot knew that, and she knew that. It was so hard for her to talk to anyone about her emotions, especially people close to her. She sighed heavily knowing she wouldn't be able to get back to sleep. She felt Elliot beside her, still wrapped around her comfortably. This was still so new for her, but she enjoyed it.

She tried getting up, but Elliot was stopping her. She literally could not move from her spot without waking him. She wanted to get up and make coffee. She almost started laughing at the situation. Olivia now had the option to move his arm from around her, but that would wake him. Anything she did would wake him.

_Oh well. _She thought as she grabbed his hand and moved it. He stirred and woke up from her moving.

"Liv," he said, "What are you doing?," he groaned and almost slurred, still partially asleep.  
"Going to the bathroom," she lied. "Sorry. Go back to sleep."

She walked into the bathroom as he watched her, still adjusting to being awake at this hour. He knew something was worse than she was telling him. Obviously Pamela, and now David, and him coming back into her life. He felt like the biggest ass for doing this to her now. He wanted her, but he was the cause for most of her pain. She came out, and he watched her again leave her room without going back to bed. This was his cue to follow her.

"Liv, now what are you doing? That's not going back to bed," he said.  
"I know, now I'm too awake to go back to bed. No point in laying there for 2 hours not sleeping. You should go back to bed because you can," she told him.  
"No. I want you to tell me what's been going on with you. Talk to me Liv."  
"At 4 in the morning? Good timing El," she forced a laugh after her comment. It was all part of what she did to get people to think she was okay.

"Yeah right now. Why not? We're awake and in a couple hours you won't. What's going on?"

"Well, Dr. Huang," she joked again, but he wasn't laughing. She rolled her eyes and sighed. "Elliot why? It isn't going to do anything."  
"How do you know if you haven't tried?," he argued.  
"Because I have done this before, talking, and it doesn't help." She didn't think at that moment it was going to help her.

"You know after as well as I do you feel better. It takes the burden off. So talk," he told her, almost demanding. He had to push her now.  
"Can we get coffee first?" She wanted just a few minutes to put herself together as much as she could. They also really needed coffee to even start the day. It also meant he may have a shot at getting her to talk.

"Yeah," he said as they both got off the couch and went to the kitchen. She felt crazy for even being up this early without having to be, and also now that she was possibly going to talk was terrifying her. He would think she was crazy. What if he left again? What if _she _caused him to leave because of her being like this? These thoughts alone were driving her crazy.

She got her cup of coffee as he did and returned to the couch.  
"Where do you want me to start?," she asked. There was a lot she could have started with.  
"Us," he simply said. "How do you feel about us?"  
"Scared," she stated.

"Why?"

She stared at her coffee cup before beginning to answer.. "Because... what if I do something that makes you disappear again? You said I am making you stay... Well what if I do something you don't like? What if you decide you don't want me anymore? Why do I deserve you?," she said, asking everything she could think of.

He grabbed her hand not holding the coffee. She looked up at him to see his blue eyes staring into hers. "Liv. Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone in relationships does things the other doesn't like. I will always want you because you are special and beautiful in every way humanly possible. Things may come up, but we will get through them. You deserve to be happy like everyone in the world does. You are... an amazing woman that any guy is lucky to have. I am lucky I have you," he answered honestly. She was falling apart at his words, again. He had a way with words that she couldn't fight.

"What if-" he cut her off with a soft kiss.  
He pulled centimeters away from her lips and whispered, "No more questions. About us. We will be okay. If you want us to be." She melted into his words and kiss. They felt everything within the kiss that they missed that day. He softly kissed her before inching away again to continue their talk.  
"So... how do you feel about David being around again?," he asked.

"El, I don't want to upset you by talking about that. Talking about us almost made me throw up. I thought... you would run away after that," she answered.

"You won't upset me. Promise," he said. _Promise. _She sighed again trying to keep calm and starting to talk. "Well.. I hate that he is just now deciding to come back. What's the point? He left me. Just a week ago too. Not the other way around..." she paused. It was still a healing wound what he did to her. "You know I don't open up like this or with anyone, and with him I did some, and he just left me like that. Because of a fucking job. I thought I understood it when he explained but I am pissed about it." She was truly heartbroken by him telling her the way he did. The more she held onto it though the more it pissed her off.

"I can't... I can't let him be in the way of my life anymore," she said. "When I meet with him today or soon, I have to cut things off completely. I don't want him around anymore," she told him, knowing it was what was best for her to move on. "I... I have you now, and I know now I will always have you." She gave him a slight smile as he looked at her smiling. He was happy to hear her say that. "You will _always _have me," he said, putting emphasis on always.

He kept a hold of her hand as he prepared himself for a possible fight on talking about the next topic.

"Liv... I know it's hard, but can you tell me how you are feeling about Pamela?," he asked, not sure how else to ask. He definitely was no George Huang. He was a cop, and could only talk to her like her partner, and trying to be a friend and also a therapist for her at once.

"How can I answer that? That's a stupid question," she said a bit defensively, then realized how it sounded. "I'm sorry El, I didn't mean it."

"I know. So start at the beginning, when you got the call in the squadroom," he told her.

"Honestly? I felt like crying. I felt like breaking things. I didn't want any of you to see me fall apart. I felt... something I don't feel a lot with the job. I felt helpless to do anything for a while the other day. I didn't know..." she paused, about to cry from going back through the emotions of the day. "I didn't know what to do. I am a cop, and able to help the victims by catching the perp and putting them away. It was unfair to Pamela because I caught one perp, and then she was doing better, and was going to be okay... Then... she was murdered the way she was, so then we have to get someone else for hurting her.. She's... she _was_," Olivia said, correcting her grammar. "She was only a little girl and went through a woman's worst nightmare, and handled it better than..." she paused again. "Better than many women do." He saw the silent tear fall down her cheek.

Elliot didn't know how to respond to that answer. He went on to what happened after the phone call. "What about when we were at the house?"  
She looked at him, then looked away quickly. "I... I shouldn't have tried to see her that way, not that you guys needed to see her like that. Seeing her that way took away the little girl I remembered, and still is. I feel a lot of this with other victims, but she... she was so much for me, to a lot of people. I wanted to get out of there. I knew I had a job to do, and so I blocked wanting to get out and tried to stay within the job. It's what we all have to do. We don't get to pick the vic. So I know I have to do my job."

"True.. but we all know we can only handle so much of work before it starts truly getting to us," Elliot told her. They both knew how the other one handled cases. Elliot and Olivia both internalized what they were feeling many times with cases until it boiled over to be too much for them, and that is what was dangerous for anyone on the job. There were many ways trying to cope with it on their own could go wrong.

Olivia sat silently as Elliot stared at her for a moment. "Liv?," he said in a questioning voice. She looked at him. "Thank you for talking."  
She didn't know what to say. She was going to fight him on this, but he wouldn't leave her alone til she sat and talked about these things. "Is that all?," she asked, ignoring his thanks.  
"Yeah, for now," he told her.  
"Then you should go back to bed," she said, looking at the clock. "It's 4 45. You could sleep for an hour."  
"No, I'm awake now. No point. But we have a long day today."

"We have to get a confession on Pamela's murder..," Olivia said.  
"Are you ready to hear it?," Elliot asked her, knowing it was going to be hard for her to hear any details. This case had taken it's toll on her, but Elliot also knew that Olivia knew how to do her job.

"Yeah.. I wanna know why-"  
"Liv even if we don't find out why you have to be okay with that. You know a lot of perps don't give it up right away, if ever."  
She kept staring at her coffee cup as she heard him speak. He was right. She couldn't beat herself up with why.

"You're right," she told him.  
"I know," he said, giving the classic Stabler grin. She looked at him and smiled while rolling her eyes. "Your ego does not need the boost."

He went over to where she was on the couch and kissed her again. This time it was more insistent between them. She wasn't fighting against it. She leaned back into the arm of the chair as he hovered overtop of her. They just got done talking seriously but it made her more sure of herself instead of fighting this. Him doing what he had done for her proved he was always going to be there with her, and proved he would be there when she needed someone.

She had already fallen in love with him... 12 years ago. 12 years of wondering what could have been, 12 years of knowing what should have been all along. They were finally getting what they wanted. No more wondering, and no more waiting. He continued kissing anywhere he could of her exposed skin. She moaned and writhed against him, begging with her body for him to go further. He chose to take the slow route with the teasing and she couldn't do a damn thing because of her position. Her nails dug into his hands as he continued his slow torture. He had moved his body, slithering down her stomach, kissing her breasts gently before reaching her naval. Just when she thought she couldn't take it anymore, he pulled away.

"We... will finish this later," Elliot teased and got off the couch. Her labored breathing was not helping her argue to keep him there.  
"Fuck you," she said bluntly. Her legs shook as she followed him. She realized how close she was to exploding without him even really touching her. Now she had to go to work with this frustraton.

Elliot and Olivia showered separately for work. She was pissed at him for leaving her craving his touch. It's all she thought about as she showered. She would get him back.

Leaving for work, Olivia's focus shifted as she realized what was about to happen in the interrogation room. Her nerves were creeping up on her slowly, and anger. She had to remember to stay calm in there, and she had to know that no matter what was said she couldn't let it get to her in front of the perp.

Elliot was nervous, too. For him and Olivia. He was nervous because he hadn't really been in an interrogation with the team since he was back. He was nervous for Olivia because he knew how close to the case she was.

Going into the squadroom, Cragen informed them that Anne was in interrogation room 1, and he was ready when they were to start.

She was as ready as she could be for this moment.

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**again alot in this chap. he got her to talk, she is nervous for this interrogation. but what happens in the interrogation? with olivia and david? oh and elliot leaving her the way he did. she is pissed lol. how does she get him back? ;) leave a review and thanks for reading as always!**


	9. Crazy

**thanks to my reviewers once again! and for anyone adding to their alerts/favoriting! :) ****and to where i have been trying to get for forever it seems. the interrogation.. anyone else ready for a bit of badass benson to make an appearance? yeah me too. lol. **

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Olivia arrived at work with Elliot. He knew she would tense up when they walked into the squadroom, and that's exactly what she did. She was still pissed at what he did to her earlier, too. Her mind was focused on that. How could it not be? She sat at her desk, getting prepped for what would happen after the interrogation. She still had mountains of paperwork to catch up on, and new cases to worry about. Fin and Munch could only handle so many on their own without being more burnt out than they already were from the job.

"Ready?," Elliot asked, sitting across from her.  
"Yeah," she lied as she glanced at him. She was terrified. For the first time in a long time going into an interrogation, she wasn't sure if she could do this. She had been at Special Victims for 13 years and rarely felt like she couldn't get a perp to crack or like she couldn't go in there.  
"Liv, you will be fine," he reassured quietly. If Cragen knew she was feeling unsure, he would put Elliot in there and keep Liv out. Cragen was already worried about her because of Pamela.

Cragen walked out of his office. He had already sent Munch and Fin out to investigate other crimes that were called in. "Benson, Stabler. I've already had Anne put in room 1, so whenever you're ready," Cragen said.

He walked behind her to the interrogation room behind the two way mirror. Cragen wasn't in there yet. "Stop staring at my ass," she told him without turning around. She could feel his eyes on her.

He laughed as he walked closer to her back. "What if I don't want to?"  
She felt the blush creep up on her as she laughed at him, not something she was expecting to do at all that morning. "Well then this is going to be a very awkward interrogation... Besides I'm not the one who stopped this morning. I hate you for that still," she told him.

"Plenty of time later," he said softly as she felt goosebumps up her spine. The way he talked to her made her want to leave right then.

She looked in through the 2 way mirror at the evil waiting for her there, then she almost forgot what just happened between her and Elliot. Pamela was at the forefront of her mind now. Everything that had happened to this point was there. She knew she had to be ready for this.

Her thoughts went to Pamela and she remembered her promise to her. _Justice_. She was going to give Pamela the justice she deserved. That was the promise she had made all along. Elliot felt her shift and knew it wasn't gonna be pretty in a few minutes. She walked in with her casefile in her hands and confidence.

"Detective Benson, good to see you again," Anne said, no longer in tears or trying to be, just the cold blooded killer she was. She was already in an orange jumpsuit and cuffs.

"So are you going to tell me when you decided to kill Pamela? Was it before or after she told everyone about your husband?," Olivia said, getting straight to the point.

"I am not saying anything. You guys apparently already have a case, so why not start the trial now?," she said in a cocky, snarky tone. Olivia needed to push her buttons to get the confession, and that is what she was going to do.

"How does it make you feel that your husband is a sick pedophile and doesn't like touching you? Your father wasn't even around when you were a kid, meaning he didn't want to be around you either," she commented, seeing Anne getting more infuriated by the second.

Olivia got closer as she was talking and reading from file. She had already been over it but wanted to make key points known. The quicker she made her break, the quicker she got out of there. "Oh and not to mention your own sister. She told me all about how she didn't want you around the kids for their sake. Because she was afraid you weren't good enough-"

Anne started cutting in then. "That stupid bitch was never a sister! She got the praise for everything! She was perfect to mom. Not even when she became a teenage mother could she do wrong! That stupid bitch is getting everything she deserves." That is what Benson was waiting for. She was waiting for Anne to crack under her own anger, and that is exactly what she was doing.

"You had to prove to her she wasn't perfect didn't you? Her kid wasn't perfect was she?," Olivia said, connecting the case to her past. Elliot watched as Olivia got her to talk. He knew they had her now.

Anne couldn't help but talk about it. "No she wasn't. That little bitch was worse than my sister. She got what she wanted when she wanted it. Everyone treated her like the princess. No one was going to punish her for taking my husband away," she said. Olivia noticed how deranged this sounded. Pamela didn't _take _her husband. This woman was insane. "I had to show her not everything in life was perfect."

"So then after the trial you went to their house..." Olivia said, using the story Anne gave her from questioning her. The last thing she needed was being accused of getting an illegal confession.

"Yes, I went over there. It was so easy to just sit outside and watch. They didn't even know I was there. Pamela and then the others went to bed..."

"How did you get in anyways?," Olivia asked, trying to just act curious. It was almost as if Anne forgot she was a cop.

Anne smiled and chuckled. "The window was easy enough to get to so I climbed in there."

"Then what? Pamela was asleep?"

"Yes she was. I only wanted to go there to talk at first, but that wasn't gonna happen. She woke up though and was about to scream for her parents. I had to show her... She fought off but I had her. Over and over. She made me so mad. The bitch wouldn't stop fighting. I wanted to know why she said what she did about my husband. He didn't do anything to her," she spilled. Olivia couldn't help but think bullshit throughtout all of her confession.

"He did Anne. He raped her and you killed her. The women in jail love child murderers," she said sarcastically. Anne was a sick perverted killer who killed a little girl out of old rage and jealousy, and she was getting what she deserved now. Olivia left her with that last statement to find Elliot on the other side of the two way mirror.

"That was fast," he said.  
"I know, I was expecting a bit more of a challenge," she said sarcastically with a chuckle. She didn't expect it to be that easy, but it was a relief knowing the right people were in jail for hurting Pamela.

Olivia felt things could go back to what they were now. The job was chaotic, and her love life was now becoming more chaotic, but she was ready for it to return to what she considered normal. She had forgotten about one person for now and wasn't planning on him coming back into her life now. She didn't want him to.

She had what she wanted, but he didn't.

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**SO sorry for the late update and shorter chapter. i have been sick the last couple days and also busy with school. i am going to try my best to update before next week is over, but if i cant then it will always be by the end of the week! thanks for reading and hanging in there and also to any reviewers :) you guys are amazing and keep me going!**


	10. Here Comes The Weekend

**once again, somewhere i was trying to get to but didnt wanna just jump into. david and olivia's meeting is gonna happen now... a couple people have asked when its gonna happen. i said it was gonna happen a bit sooner than this. sorry. but its happening nowww! thanks as always for your reviews! :) and also sorry for the late post! **

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Elliot stared at her as she worked, seeing how much less stressed she was, or as much as she could be still doing all the paperwork. It was about 2 in the afternoon and he was hoping the worst of the day was over.

Not wanting to get obvious of the staring he was doing, he continued his own paperwork. This didn't continue for long as both of their heads shot up at the sound of someone's voice they knew.  
"Olivia," he said, walking in with the confidence he had left with days earlier.  
"Oh, hi David," she said. She was mentally kicking herself for agreeing to anything with him.

"I never got a call," he told her disappointed.  
"I'm still working and catching up. Sorry I don't think we can go anywhere I have a ton of paperwork," she said, trying to make up the most real excuse. There wasn't that much left, but she really didn't want to go anywhere with him.

"That's never stopped you before. All we need is a quick meeting. It won't be long. Have you back within an hour. We can go down the street," he pushed, still having that smirk on his face that drove Elliot insane.

"David, she doesn't want to go, leave it alone," Elliot said, stepping in. He didn't sound angry, just annoyed with him.  
"Olivia can make the choice for herself Elliot," he snapped back. Olivia knew this could get bad quickly so she did the only thing she could think of.

"Fine. Let's go. I just have to tell Cragen." She walked over to the office and knocked before entering. "Captain, I have to take care of some personal things. Can I step out for a bit?"  
Cragen looked out and saw David standing there. "A date with our old ADA doesn't count Olivia," he said almost chuckling.  
She almost gagged at that suggestion. "It's not a date. We have to clear some things up from before when he worked here. He isn't leaving me alone about it and it's easier to do it now," she said, almost hoping he wouldn't believe her about the date.

"Okay, as long as Elliot and the others can take care of things. Be back ASAP," he told her.

"I will be." She walked towards the elevator and David gave Elliot one last glare before leaving. Elliot clenched his fists ready to punch him, but knew it wouldn't be in the best interest of him and Olivia right now. He also knew he couldn't get into hot water with the Captain or IAB less than a month back. Elliot figured David Haden wasn't worth the energy that day.

"Thanks Olivia for-"  
Olivia interrupted him when the elevator doors closed. "This isn't a date, and never will be another one between us. I am with someone else now."

David didn't say anything. There would be time to tell her what he knew, but not at that moment.

They walked in silence as they made their way down the street to the nearest diner. Getting seated and ordering their coffees, he began speaking again.

"I know it's Elliot you're with." She nearly spit the water up she began sipping on when she heard that. She wiped her mouth. "Excuse me?," she said, confused and dumbfounded that is what he was bringing up now.

"Elliot. You're with Elliot. It isn't hard to figure out," he said with that sly smirk on his face.  
"And how do you know that's who I'm with?" She wanted to rewind and take that back. The more she defended anything the more obvious it became. She wanted to know how he knew though when they hadn't disclosed it to anyone.

"It's obvious," he lied. She had been a detective long enough to know something wasn't right about what he was saying.

"If he was the one I was with, how is it obvious?," she asked, keeping the "if" in there to make it hypothetical. She wanted information, and she was going to get it.

David knew what she was doing, and gave the obvious answer. "The way he looks at you, and you him."  
"We've been partners for so long we are looking at each other like good friends." It was true. They were really good friends, she just left out the last part.

"Whatever Olivia, stop the bullshit. You two have been having sex like fucking teenagers," he said.  
Her eyes widened. "What the hell are you talking about?" There is no way he could know that. She got sick at the thought of him doing what she was thinking he was.

He looked at her, still smiling. "That's obvious, too."

"You know, I don't have to tell you one damn thing, but I will." She was about to throw everything in his face because she could. He couldn't do anything with it but think about it. She leaned over the table to whisper so no one else could hear.  
"He's the best I've ever had. At least he doesn't have... problems below the belt, unlike you."

He clenched his fist. He was pissed and shot right back at her. "He probably is thinking of that ex-wife of his every time. He still loves her you know? You will never be loved like I loved you." If his idea was that somehow he was getting her back, he was very wrong.

She had had enough. "You didn't love me. You never did. You used me and then left me. So, it's my turn to leave. I'm leaving now. NEVER contact me again and do not come into the precinct, unless you want to get arrested for harassment. You are a sick son of a bitch." She got up from the table and nearly ran from the diner. He knew way more than anyone should now. But she knew he knew it before she said anything.

Now she had to decide if she could tell Elliot anything. He would kill Haden, literally. He didn't like him already, and this would not help. She walked into the precinct.

_What he doesn't know won't hurt him right?_

She had to now compose herself from what had just happened and not look panicked and distracted. She thought it was simple enough.

She sat at her desk, not saying a word to Elliot.  
"How did it go?," he asked.  
"Fine," she said, not looking up from her case file. He knew something was wrong by how she said that. And the word 'fine' means it was fucked up.

She looked at him, to see his eyes staring at her with a questioning look on his face.  
She sighed and rolled her eyes. "Elliot, it was fine. No need to worry about him right now, or ever again."  
"I hope you are not lying for your sake," he said, smirking at her.

She didn't know how to respond to that one. She wanted to laugh. "Stop it," she whispered, smiling, knowing what he meant. He knew what to say to get her mind off of what happened, and put it on what he was thinking. He was such a perv. He put her her mind always to the opposite of where it was at.

"Later," she said.  
"Of course," he said smiling.

"You better work on that paperwork faster Stabler. The opportunity won't be here forever," she teased, and watched his face change as he heard what she had said. She knew she got him. That was always fun. He immediately tried to concentrate on what he was doing. The faster they got it done, the faster he got to have her. They possibly had the next day off, being Sunday. His mind was everywhere now.

The day seemed to pass slower for the both of them. They were both getting impatient, and when 6 pm came around, they were ready to leave. They teased each other the rest of the day, and that thinned their patience quicker.

Cragen came out of his office to see them leaving. He noticed how much more accepting Olivia was to have him back. He wasn't sure why, but it made it feel like old times. They looked over at Cragen and said goodnight before heading for the elevator.

He grabbed her and kissed her when the doors closed and pushed into her. She moaned into his mouth as he continued. They only had a few seconds but this ignited their need for each other even more.

They almost ran to the car in the parking garage. Forgetting there were cameras around he smacked her ass playfully as she laughed and got in the car. She felt like a giddy teenager falling in love the way they were acting right now. He kissed her as he started the car. She couldn't help but laugh at how he was acting either. She just stared at him some as he was driving home. The ache between her legs was growing as they got closer to her apartment. She saw the obvious bulge in his pants and held back her moan. She hadn't had him in _days_, and was dying for him. She had never felt anything like this for someone. She had some anger and frustration to use in this, too.

The hallway seemed much longer than usual, and they couldn't stay off of each other, grabbing at each other and moaning more as their bodies grinded together.

She had the key ready and they stumbled into the apartment, falling all over each other and barely making it to the bedroom tearing off each other's clothes. She couldn't help but glance over at the windows to make sure the curtains were closed before falling quickly into the moment with him. They kissed roughly as his hands grabbed at her, putting his hands on her ass and grinding into her. She moaned and almost screamed as she felt the contact where she needed it. She threw her head back as she hung onto his shoulders for support.

They tore off each other's clothes quickly, not wanting to waste much time. He climbed over her as she laid back onto the bed. He touched her wet core with two fingers, entering quickly. She clawed and grabbed his back as he hit pumped his fingers into and out of her. She met each hit of his hand, and was on edge before he pulled his hand away, earning a frustrated growl from her. He licked off her juices from his fingers, loving her taste, but knowing he couldn't wait any longer. He kissed her and entered her swiftly. She screamed into his mouth and her muscles tightened around his member at the intrusion.

He moaned as he exited her almost completely before entering again. He tore his mouth away to hear her scream many 'Oh God's' and 'Elliot's.' He returned what she was doing and was saying her name repeatedly. He loved the feeling of her. There was no way he would find anything better than the perfection that was Olivia Benson.

She screamed and almost whined as his thrusting became slower, prolonging the inevitable. She tried thrusting her body into his but he was giving her limited movement, and little control of when she would reach her peak. He latched his mouth onto her breast as his hands caressed her body, one hand skimming down her body to where their bodies met. She arched her back and moaned urging his hand to touch her. She was so close and felt like she was dying from the pleasure he was causing at that moment.

He felt her thrusting towards him and gave her clit one swipe. He heard the cry from her and knew he couldn't hold off any longer. His thrusting sped up and she bucked against him as his fingers worked her clit. Olivia faintly heard his voice say to open her eyes. She fought against her mind and opened them in time to hear him say he loved her and feel her orgasm hit. She screamed and froze for a moment before shaking and thrusting against him. He heard her scream his name and how much she loved him, sending him over the edge with her.

He collapsed next to her, still inside of her, and they both lay there covered in a sheen of sweat.

"Give me about 30 minutes and I'm doing it again," he said, still trying to catch his breath.  
She chuckled and felt her body respond to his voice. She intentionally tightened around his member, and they both moaned at the sensation. "Stabler, you can do whatever you want with me tonight," she said seductively, and breathily into his ear. He looked at her and she bit her lip. He didn't know what had gotten into her, but he loved it. He kissed her as her hands wrapped around him again.

For those moments neither were thinking about what tomorrow was going to bring, or what the past days had brought. She hadn't thought about what she thought was going on with Haden or what he was doing, and wasn't going to at that time.

They had each other in the moment, and that was all that mattered to them.

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**Again so sorry for the day late update on this one! i have been kinda busy and then trying to figure out exactly how i wanted this chapter to end up. i liked that ending the best lol. i didnt have any dialogue in the smut, and i have never done that. i wanted to do something different, and also kinda left this open for more haden. i dont like him very much either, but makes for great drama! thanks so much for reading:) and please leave a review! much appreciated!**


	11. Scream

**i havent updated in 3 weeks. sorry guys. writers block, school stress, and our main computer going out is to blame:P thanks to anyone still keeping up with the story/reviewing or anything. thank you all:) **

**if you couldnt tell, david is not pleased with olivia doing what she did at the cafe... elliot still hates david, olivia is unsure about david, and trying to stay away from him. things are getting heated. what happens now? oh and its sunday, kinda olivia and elliots day off, but as we know its rare for SVU detectives to have a good day off.**

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Elliot awoke next to Olivia, wrapped around her warm body. He watched the even rise and fall of her chest as she slept, and saw how peaceful she looked at that moment. He loved moments like this. Elliot loved every moment with her, and his love for her was present at every moment he was with her.

She stirred a bit before squinting her eyes to the bit of sunrise escaping into her room. She barely had to turn her head to see him looking back down at her.  
"Good morning," she said in a half yawn and trying to stretch out a bit.  
"It is." He smiled and kissed her. She stared at him and had to kiss him again as she smiled back at him. She would always love that no matter what. She would always love him. This is what she always wanted, and needed. She just needed someone there for her, and someone that wanted to be there with her as much as she wanted to be with them.

After laying there and waking up a bit, Elliot grabbed his boxers before padding out to the kitchen to make them coffee. She needed to get a shower. She felt well rested, even though they had been up most of the night. Feeling rested was something she hardly had anymore and Olivia was thankful for it these days.

Elliot started a nice Sunday morning breakfast for them. He had realized then he had yet to take her out on a real date, and that was when he decided that was going to be his next surprise for her.

She came out of the bedroom in her pajamas to see a hot meal of eggs and toast waiting for her.  
"Elliot where the hell did you find all this food?," she chuckled, knowing she had none of it before.  
"The store. I went a couple days ago."  
"Thank you," she said gratefully, sitting down as he handed her food on the couch. He didn't have to serve her like that, but he wanted to.

The food smelled great, and tasted just as good. It had been a little while since having home cooking, and she was not about to let it go to waste. He sat on the couch next to her, seeing her plate almost clear as he was just starting.  
"Thank you so much El. That was... really good," she said in between a hiccup and laugh.  
"No problem. It looks like you had no problems with that," he teased.  
"Not at all." She held her stomach as she leaned back against the couch. She ate a bit too fast, but it was well worth it. He ate the rest of his food as she grabbed his plate and hers to put it in the cink.

"Hey Liv, we're going shopping today," he said, not asking, but telling her.  
"Why would we do that?," she said, confused as to why they would need to do that. She turned around to see him right there with her.

"Because you... need a dress."  
"Okay I'm still confused," she told him.  
"It's a surprise. I just need you to go with me so I can choose one that looks amazing on you, which they all will, but I want you to feel good, too. You'll find out soon enough," he said giving her a cheesy grin then quickly kissing her.

"Okay Stabler, what the hell are you up to?," she said putting her hands on his shoulders looking up at him. She wanted to know. She didn't like surprises.

"You'll see," he said before loosening her grip and heading to the bathroom. He had her right where he wanted her.  
She just rolled her eyes and started doing the dishes.

It was barely 10 a.m. and they were ready for the day. She didn't even know where to begin shopping because she didn't do these things very often.  
Elliot sensed her nervousness. "Liv this isn't something to be nervous over," he said, basically reading her mind from across the room.  
"Really Stabler? How the hell do you do that?"  
"I just know you that well," he said as he finished getting ready. "And I heard you roll your eyes, too!," he said sarcastically. She couldn't help but laugh at him saying what she was doing. He really did know her.

She got dressed in her comfortable jeans and t-shirt. Getting dressed up often was not what she did.

Elliot started off at the simple places he knew of to get dresses without going so expensive he would go bankrupt. He basically had to push her into the dressing rooms though.

She walked out in a red sphaghetti strapped dress, ending at her knees, with a simple pair of black heels. Elliot felt his jaw drop as he shifted in the seat there.  
"Liv... holy shit," he told her. "You look..." he couldn't even finish his thought. For an almost 50 year old, she looked hot.  
She hadn't worn a dress and heels in years. "Elliot I can't wear this. I feel stupid. Someone my age should not be wearing this."  
"Someone your age should wear it if you pull it off like you do. I swear you are going to kill me today."

This was starting to make her a little more comfortable but it would be weird for her no matter what. "I will try on another one." She closed the curtain to look at the next 3 dresses that were staring back at her. They were black or dark blue. She kept reminding herself she was doing this for him. She exhaled before unzipping the red one and sliding it down her body. She stood there in her bra and underwear in front of the mirror.

She was looking down so didn't feel or hear the curtain shift before being pushed against the wall. The room was big enough for two.

"I told you, you're killing me," Elliot whispered in her ear. She got chills as he swiped his hands around her body. He kissed her hard as she pushed against him and moaned. "We can't do this here," she said quietly. There may have been people around. Her body contradicted what she was saying as he attacked her neck.  
"We can," he kissed her again and didn't loosen his body pressure on her as he took off her bra. She felt him through his pants pushing into her already and bit back the moan.

"You're gonna have to be quiet Liv," he smirked at her, knowing she was always louder than this in bed, and he rocked against her, teasing her. She squeezed her eyes shut as nothing covered her mouth.  
Her head lifted off the wall and looked at him for a second. "I.. really... hate you," she told him, struggling to talk and catch her breath again. He chuckled at her, knowing what he was doing. He moved his hands to her breasts and watched as his hands worked them. He tweaked her nipples and she threw her head back.

She was truly ready to scream. It was horrible torture but she loved it. He knew he was loving every moment of this. He grunted as he continued to rub his lower body against her harshly and massage her breasts. She bit her lip and squeaked a little bit. Her body moved, trying to move away from the continuous stimulation. It was embarrassing to have a release from only that. Elliot loved it though, not that he needed an ego boost. He had his jeans on, and the continuous stroking and friction was unbearable. She looked at him desparately in the eyes. She mouthed please, needing him to do something else or be inside her. She felt her stomach and muscles begin to tighten. Her eyes screwed shut, trying to focus on something else, anything else.

He saw what she was doing. Her mouth open wide, her eyes squeezed shut tight. He felt her muscles in her body tightening and knew she was close. He slowed down a bit, and she was thankful for a second, but then realized this was a lose lose because she really wanted a release. Her breathing was quickened as she looked at him, giving her the Stabler grin, and knew he was nowhere near done with her.

"El, I-" She stopped as he kissed her again, feeling his hand in place of where his body had just been. He ripped away her panties and rubbed harshly near her entrance and clit. She basically screeched in his mouth, knowing he was going to get his way now. She was so close and knew she couldn't hold on much longer.

He ripped away his mouth again watching her face and body contort with what he was doing to her, then kissed her as he harshly plunged two fingers into her. Her nails dug into his shoulders and back as his fingers stimulated her. She rocked against his body. He felt her body tense and muscles contracting around him.

She looked over and saw the image in the mirror, and couldn't hang on anymore. She moaned into his mouth as he flicked her clit. "Liv, look at me," he groaned against her mouth. She hardly was able to open her eyes as her screams were caught in his mouth. He felt his fingers gliding easily now as she rode her orgasm against his hand. He groaned against her. Her breathing was strained as he slowed down his ministrations. He withdrew his fingers slowly. He brought them to his mouth and she watched him suck them clean, causing her to moan again.

"El, what ... was that?," she whispered as she tried catching her breath.  
"That was amazing is what that was." He kissed her, and she tasted herself in his mouth, and that was causing an overload in her body again. She grabbed around the front of his jeans, trying to get him to continue. He smirked against her lips and took her hands away. She was confused as to what he was doing.

"Elliot. Please." She wanted this, here. She didn't care anymore where she was. She knew he wanted it. He continued to let her wait as he moved around her swiftly. He slowly moved his hands to his jeans and she watched his erection come through his jeans. She bit her lip trying and wanting to make him move faster.

He slid them down in one swift movement, and before she could have her turn with him she was against the wall again, with him pushing against her body. He grabbed her hands and intertwined his fingers with hers before kissing her. He lined up with her entrance and swiftly pushed into her. Her muscles contracted around his member as they both moaned in pleasure from the feeling. He pumped in and out of her at a steady pace, enough to keep her on edge with him for a few minutes. She gripped his hands tightly as moans of pleasure escaped her throat. He was right with her as he continued to groan and push into her. He needed release. Elliot sped up his pace before looking over at the mirror. He shook his head as he continued, wanting to come to his peak with her.

"El. Oh. OH!," she harshly screeched, wanting so badly to yell out louder. She bit her lip. He was feeling everything she was. Their bodies stiffened together as they reached their climaxes. He kissed her again and felt himself shoot off in her. They groaned, gripping at each other as they rode out their orgasms together.

"Oh my god" was all Olivia could say. She felt the chills and aftershocks of what he had done to her. He stayed with her against the wall, inside her, reveling in this moment. She felt like she wouldn't be able to stand up if he moved away from her. She couldn't think straight. He looked at her, and she was now feeling a bit shy. He saw the blush creep into her cheeks as she avoided his eye contact. She felt like a teenager right now. Spontaneous sex is not something she usually did.

"I love you," he said quietly. She met his eyes and a smile crept across her face. "I love you, too El," she said as she watched him lean in to kiss her.  
"We're gonna have to go shopping more often," he said. She smacked his arm. "You just had to say it and ruin the moment," she said chuckling.

"What it's true. That was amazing. And you still have on a few dresses to try on," he said smugly.  
"Yeah I'm buying it just so you can tear it off of me later."  
"You're learning quickly." He smiled at her before moving. She just rolled her eyes at him.

He walked out of the dressing room, sitting back down in the chair where he was before. He saw the young woman walk by him, looking at him weird. He chuckled to himself. Everyone in the place probably knew. He knew it was worth that though. He already knew Olivia would be mortified, and he could see her face now, getting the cute blush she did when she was embarrassed. That made him smile even more. Elliot also knew sitting there, thinking about her the way he was, that this was the person he was ready to spend the rest of his life with.

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**well then... ;) soo sorry for the late update! but thats also why i did this this way was because i had to make up for it being late lol. their day still is not over though! i have a few different things planned for them and i hope to update very soon! thanks as always for reading :)**


	12. Hanging By a Moment

**so sorry for the late update. ya know how life just gets chaotic at the worst times? yeah thats how it has been since i have been trying to update lol. thanks for being patient with the wait though! thanks so much to any new followers or people adding to their favorites. means a lot and glad you enjoy it!:)**

**Amanda4Meloni - i love that idea! may have to use it;) **

**it is still their day off. they are hardly started lol. but now elliot has that date planned last minute. i am gonna do the rest of their day off in this chapter! got some surprises here and twists... hmmm... ;)**

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After finishing their afternoon of shopping, they were both in a great mood. Elliot had planned out what he wanted to do that day and it was going very well for him, as well. He didn't want it to get ruined by getting a call into work or him screwing something up. He was nervous for what was coming. Elliot truly hoped she had no idea. The shopping trips out of nowhere may have given her a hint though.

There was so many thoughts and feelings going through his mind. He thought about his kids and what they would think of this. He had talked more with his kids since him and Kathy were over. They shared custody of Eli. He did not have time to see the rest of them as much as he wanted to since they were in college, and hardly saw Eli anymore which was killing him, but he talked to them when he could and he had built a better relationship with them. That made him think, it may be a good time to talk with them again now that things between him and Olivia were more serious. Olivia had gotten into the shower to get ready for the evening. He wanted to ask his older kids what they thought of it.

Maureen was first. He dialed the number and waited a few rings, eager to talk to her. She answered "Hey dad," sounding happy.  
"Hey sweetie. I wanted to call and check in. How is school going?"  
"I am fine. School is going great," she told him, sensing something else was the reason he was calling. "Okay so what is the actual reason you are calling dad?"  
He chuckled at how well she caught on. "What? Can't I call to check in on my daughter?"  
"Not randomly. I know you. What's going on?"

"Okay... I have something to tell you. Well ask and tell. How do you feel if Olivia and I were together?" He pulled the phone away from his ear quickly when he heard the screech.  
"Oh my gosh! Dad that is awesome! Just wonderful!," she yelled.

"So that is how you feel?," he laughed and said sarcastically as his ears still rang from the scream.

"YES! Oh man... When's the wedding?," she squealed as she asked eagerly.  
"I do not know that. We just got together." He was nervous to ask her to marry him. "Do you think I should ask her?"

"DUH dad! Oh my gosh I need to start planning! You guys need to start planning! Right now! I knew this would happen. You are so happy when you look at her. It doesn't matter what is going on," she told him. "She looks at you the same way."

"Really?" He was shocked she had said that.  
"YES! You love her, so marriage is easy. You guys already act like a married couple," she laughed.  
He had to give her that one after a moment of thought and laughed. "Okay. Yes. Maybe. But I will let you know when that is. I will talk to you soon."

"Okay dad. Love you."  
"Love you too sweetie." He clicked the phone off and had a bit more confidence about doing what he was planning. He called the other kids and got the same reactions. He was relieved that they felt that way. He was happy if they were, and them being happy with Olivia meant he could still be happy.

He was ready for this. He had to be. He was hoping she was ready for this too.

The rest of the afternoon went rather quickly for them, relaxing at home until they had to get ready. His plan was simple, but it seemed like something was going to go wrong with this. Something always went wrong. His palms were sweaty and he was pacing back and forth.

Olivia watched him as she was looking in the mirror and held back a laugh. "Are you alright El? You don't look so good." She didn't know what was making him so nervous, but something was making him like this and it was odd.

"I'm fine, just a lot on my mind." It wasn't a complete lie. He did have a lot on his mind, and all of it was the night and what was gonna happen with her.

6 came around. She walked out of the bedroom as he waited near the door for her. His jaw dropped again when he saw the dress they chose. It was the simple black dress and heels. It hugged every curve perfectly. She waved her long brown hair loosely and did her make up to compliment her chocolate brown eyes. She smiled at him and blushed. No one could get used to the eyes of Elliot Stabler on them like that.

"Liv you look... more than beautiful. You are perfect," he told her. She smiled bigger from him saying that if that was possible.  
"Thanks, El. You look pretty good yourself," she said, commenting on his suit and tie. "Now are you gonna tell me where the hell we are going?" It really was making her curious and nervous all at once. They did not do this, as a couple. They didn't go out hardly at all unless it was for take out.

"Nope. Good try though," he said confidently. He knew that would probably be the most confident he would sound all night.

He opened every door for her on the way out like they were already at a fancy restaurant. Something was up and she knew it. It didn't take a detective to know that much. The trouble was the details. It was killing her not knowing. She trusted Elliot though, and whatever it was made him just as nervous.

They walked outside to their car, and he still looked nervous. "Elliot, really what has got you all worked up?" He looked at her, taking a minute to get his mind back to where they were.

"Nothing. You. Tonight. Other things you do not need to worry about," he said, trying to force a smile. She just rolled her eyes and chuckled as they drove out of the parking garage.

They were headed to a part of Manhattan that she knew pretty well. It was with all the fancy restaurants that anyone could ever imagine, and she had only dreamed to be able to eat there more than once in her life. It was always decorated and lit up. Elliot pulled into the parking lot of the Italian restaurant _Luigi's_.  
"El... How did you..? What...?" She was speechless. It took months in advance to get reservations, and she knew that. It made no sense because they had only been together a few weeks and unless he knew they would be together months ago it was impossible.

"I have someone in management here that owed me a favor. He got me in as soon as I called today. I wanted tonight to be perfect and I have heard you talk about these places before," he told her as he saw the shocked smile on her face. He got out of the car and went to her side to open the door. They walked arm and arm into the place. She was speechless as she looked in amazement at how beautiful it was. Elliot looked at the waitress as he told her their last name and reservation time. She took them to their table in a corner that had a name card on the table. They were quickly sat down as another waiter brought out expensive iced wine and a small tray of bread.

"Elliot. This is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. Everything... It's perfect. Thank you." She smiled at him. He reached across the table for her hand, and she gladly took it. That is exactly what he wanted to hear, and hope he could make her even happier in the same night.  
"I will always do what I can to make you happy. I love you Olivia." She saw him in that moment as the tears welled up in her eyes and she smiled. How did she get this lucky?  
"I love you too El."

They ordered their expensive food and she swore it was the best Italian food she had ever eaten. He was very impressed himself and saw why it took months to get into the place. They ordered the most exquisite and beautiful looking dessert on the menu. She was enjoying every moment of this, and it was because of him. He made her forget the stress in their lives for a few hours and that was almost impossible to do on her own.

Once the check was placed at their table and he set his card in it, he set it on the side of the table and took a deep breath before looking at her.

"Olivia, I need to tell you something..." She looked at him a bit worried. He grabbed her hand again with both of his hands. "I need to tell you that I do love you, and I am in love with you. I fall in love with you more every second I am with you. I couldn't have found a more beautiful person no matter how hard I tried. You make me the happiest person when I am with you. The thought of you makes me smile. I never stop thinking about you, no matter what I am doing. I smile because of you. I have dreamed of being with you for years, and now I finally have the chance. I don't want to ever screw that up or take it for granted. I won't ever take you for granted, as long as I live..." He got up from the table and she watched as more tears came to her eyes and gasped. It didn't click until he was on his knee what he was doing.

"Olivia, as long as I live I want to be with you. As long as I live I promise to never leave you, and I promise to be everything you want and need." He pulled out the box and opened it to the most beautiful ring she had ever seen. "Will you marry me?" She cried and laughed out of being nervous as he watched. The people around began to stare and awaited her answer, as well. She nodded very fast 'yes' and whispered it for him. He slid the ring on her finger and everyone smiled and said 'awe' and started clapping as they both stood up and kissed her, teary eyed as well. They had to compose themselves in being in the place they were, though. He hugged her tightly and she did the same to him.

"I love you so much Liv."  
"I love you, Elliot." She didn't want to let him go. It was the most perfect thing that had ever happened to her. She didn't care what happened tomorrow. She had him, finally. It took a couple minutes to come back down and calm down even a little. She was not calm inside though. She was the most happy person and the smile did not leave her face as they left the restaurant. She was glowing. He was so happy as he left with her. It couldn't have gone any better, and now he couldn't wait to get her home. He continued to open the doors for her until they were in the car. She stared at her ring. It was perfect. She couldn't express enough how much she loved him.

Walking in was a blur as they smiled and looked at each other. He turned the key in the lock as she kissed him passionately, and it was going to be the greatest night since being together, because it meant so much more. The lights weren't on, and they didn't see the person standing there as they shut the door. They moaned as he tried finding the easiest way to get the dress off of her. He didn't want to ruin it. She chuckled as she easily found his belt buckle to start undoing it.

The person standing there finally spoke. "You know you really should have changed your locks Olivia." They both stopped in shock and turned to where the voice was coming from. Elliot fumbled to get to the light switch. Olivia recognized the voice and so did Elliot. "David." Olivia was breathless and both were ready to kick his ass and get him out of there. They saw the gun in his hand as Elliot turned on the lightswitch and their plans changed. They both froze. Elliot instantly tried to get in front of Olivia. "I wouldn't move anymore if I were you, Detective Stabler."

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**hopefully you didnt think i was gonna make their day/night that simple lol. but i finally brought his kids into this story, he proposed, and now things are obviously getting intense. i am so sorry for any choppyness in this chapter. i was trying to get it somewhere and to the point i did and it was hard getting there! I plan on updating MUCH sooner this time around than this last time. what is david going to do? are they going to be able to get out of this? he is pretty crazy so you will have to read to find out! :) please review and let me know what you all think of this one! thanks again for anyone still with the story!**


	13. We're Not Gonna Fall

**seems everyone is in agreeance that they dislike david haden at this point;) lol. your guys' reviews are awesome. Thank you to skyesmommy and Amanda4Meloni! :) and also to spacekitten2700 and LawAndOrderSVU3 for leaving yours! hope you all enjoy whats coming next! i wont spoil it lol. :) **

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_The person standing there finally spoke. "You know you really should have changed your locks Olivia." They both stopped in shock and turned to where the voice was coming from. Elliot fumbled to get to the light switch. Olivia recognized the voice and so did Elliot. "David." Olivia was breathless and both were ready to kick his ass and get him out of there. They saw the gun in his hand as Elliot turned on the lightswitch and their plans changed. They both froze. Elliot instantly tried to get in front of Olivia. "I wouldn't move anymore if I were you, Detective Stabler."_

Elliot moved back to his position as slowly as possible to not alarm David. As they stood there staring at him, Elliot knew there was not much he could do and he hated that feeling. Helplessness. He knew David was too far away to try to grab the gun without the gun going off and the chances of one of them being shot became that much greater. David was in complete control of the situation and it made him feel like a failure to Olivia. He promised to always protect her and have her back in the workplace and outside of it. He promised to protect her against the psycho now standing in her apartment. The pit in his stomach grew larger as he realized what David really wanted out of this: Olivia.

"Before I start this, I want both of your phones. I already found your guns, if you couldn't tell by the one I am holding." Elliot and Olivia both slowly went for their phones and put them on the ground. They were at his say so, and they hated it. Olivia was looking at him like he was crazy for doing this and also a bit of fear in her eyes. Not for her, but for Elliot. David had a huge hatred towards him for coming back, and both Elliot and Olivia knew that.

"Liv, why are you looking at me like that? You can't deny that you love me. I want you to say it in front of him. Tell him you want to be with me," he babbled. He didn't look insane, but the clear expression in his made him look cold and hateful towards Elliot.

Olivia was well aware of why David was there. The things that were said that last time and what they knew from his sick obsession should have been enough to know he would do something drastic. This was crazy and Olivia knew she couldn't do a thing to stop it. Every fiber in both of their bodies was in cop mode. Thinking of ways to deflect the situation and thinking of ways each situation would happen was keeping their minds on overload. Each second that passed felt like an eternity.

"Tell him!," he demanded, making Olivia and Elliot a little more uneasy. She looked at Elliot, then at David. "Elliot, I love.. I love him," she gulped. Elliot heard the hurt in her voice. He knew she didn't mean it. She felt the tears building in her voice and eyes, but had to hide it as well as she could. When it came to Elliot, she wasn't good at hiding her emotions.

"That isn't very convincing," David said, starting to sound annoyed. "Look what I have here," David said as he pulled out the handcuffs from his pocket. "Liv, you get to handcuff him with his own handcuffs. Something you always wanted to do," he said smugly. "Your pair I have other plans for," he said, getting a smirk across his face. He enjoyed every second of this. She felt sick at what he just said.

"I want him handcuffed over there, to the desk, so he can't move anywhere. I will be checking to make sure they are tight enough, too. I know how you work Benson." That was the only plan she had in her mind. This was the worst moment of her life, and somehow Haden was making every moment that much worse and more of a nightmare than she could have ever had.

"NOW!," he yelled. They moved as Haden threw the cuffs down in front of them. She picked them up and they walked over as Haden followed closely behind them. The emotions they both felt at that moment, was that they were never going to see each other again, and it nearly killed both of them from the thought alone. They had in their minds Haden was going to have his way and kill one or both of them. She mouthed "I love you" as she got face to face with Elliot hooking the handcuffs. Elliot didn't mouth it back. Haden was watching and didn't want things worse by him saying it to her. Haden was already unstable. Elliot was terrified for Olivia because now he couldn't do anything for her, and he felt sick to his stomach knowing he couldn't do anything for her.

She felt the sting of tears as she got up. He blinked his back as rage took over him. Haden quickly checked and then swiftly punched him in the gut, making him curl forward as the force knocked the wind out of him. Olivia flinched at the sight before her. Elliot felt his ribs crack as Haden was going in for another blow. "David! Let's go to the bedroom, now. Elliot knows I love you, not him. Please let's go," she begged as convincing as she could be in the situation. She had to get him away from Elliot before he killed him.

David looked at her, and seemed satisfied with what she had just said. "Now that is a good plan," David said as he walked towards her. "I am glad you came to your senses Olivia." He went and put his arm around her, with the gun jammed in her side. It reminded her he was in control. She knew she couldn't try to move and swat it away from him in this position without it going off. She had to gain his trust. Elliot watched as they disappeared into the hallway. There was no way he could move with the handcuffs. They were now starting to cut into his skin from being a little too tight. He had to figure out something.

Olivia was in front of David as he shut the door. She jumped a little at the sound of her bedroom door shutting. She stood with her back to him. He was staring at her, taking it in. She felt his gaze on her and heard his moans as he stared. She felt the bile coming up but refused to throw up or show any signs of weakness right now. She had to wait for her move. "Liv.. God you are so perfect. I want to see all of you. I want to feel all of you," he said. She held her eyes closed as the words he had just said pierced her ears. The words she was about to say were going to make her even more ill, and make her feel disgusting. She reminded herself she had to do this.

"David, I really do love you. I couldn't...I just could not say it out there. I love you," she said, slowly turning around to face him. He smirked at her as he slowly went towards her, eying her body up and down. She tried picturing Elliot in front of her, to keep her mind off of what she was really doing right now, what she was saying, and how repulsing it was to hear herself say it to David.

She continued, seeing he wasn't truly convinced yet. "You don't need the gun to control me David. I know what you want, and I will give it to you...all night," she continued as seductively as possible. He was inches away from her face and leaned in to to kiss her. His lips met hers and she tried to fall into it like she would before, and she couldn't. The mere sight of him was making her ill. He tasted disgusting compared to Elliot. She couldn't fool herself and make herself think it was Elliot. Her senses knew too well that it wasn't him.

She stopped him with her hand on his chest, and her mouth still close to his. "Wait... Please put the gun down," she said quietly. She was getting his trust quickly. She heard the safety click back on. She had to wait a few extra seconds to make sure he was going to put it down. He stared at her for a few seconds before turning around with his back to her. She sighed a sense of relief to herself.

He went to put the gun down on the bedside table. He turned around slowly, and that was her move. As soon as his face was in view, she punched him as hard as he could with a right hook. He grunted loudly from the blow. He spun around, not expecting that blow. He stumbled back, losing his balance. She quickly took her hands to his face and connected her knee to his face, knocking him out wtih the blow. She grabbed her gun securely and backed away making sure he stayed on the floor. "Like I was gonna give you anything tonight you son of a bitch," she said in anger. She ran out of the room to find Elliot, trying to get detached from the desk. He had heard the commotion and it panicked him. "Liv. I am so-" She cut him off with a deep kiss.

She put her forehead to his and spoke quietly. "You have nothing to be sorry for." She looked at him and rubbed his face gently where Haden had hit him.  
"I didn't protect..." His voice faded before he spoke again. "Where is he?"  
"Knocked out on the floor. A knee to the face will do that, though," she said sarcastically. He chuckled and kissed her again. She had to find the key to get him out of the cuffs.

"Liv, there's one on the car keys," he said, nodding towards the door. He threw them down when they had stumbled into the apartment. She hurried and grabbed them.

"Shit, I need my phone to call for help," she said, realizing Haden had both of their phones.  
"Let me get them," he said as the cuffs came undone. He stumbled as he got up, feeling the sharp pain in his gut where he had been kicked. He held his stomach as he went into her room, seeing Haden knocked out where Olivia had left him. He knelt down next to him to get their phones and slowly got up. He swiftly kicked him as hard as he could in the stomach. He heard the grunt come out of him and hoped he felt it. He would when he woke up. "You will never come near her again," he said quietly. He was so pissed at Haden, and always would be, for almost ruining the best thing in his life. Elliot stumbled away, balancing himself on the wall, before meeting Olivia back in the living room.

Olivia grabbed him and sat him down on the couch. She grabbed her phone to call for help. "Detective Benson with Manhattan Special Victims. We need a bus at 1904 Main Street, Apartment 2B. 2 injured, 1 unconscious." She continued and finally hung up. She knew it would be a few minutes. She looked at Elliot and saw him staring back at her.  
"El... I've never been so scared to lose you in my life." She felt the tears rising again, and this time couldn't stop them from flowing. She leaned over to hug him, keeping in mind his injuries. "Liv, I was scared to lose you. But we are here. We will get through this. We will have a life together," he whispered, getting tears himself. She felt the ring on her finger that he had given her, and was ready for that life with him.

They heard the door and jumped. It was only EMS and a couple of the uniformed officers they knew. They had been in the position but refused to use the word "victims." They weren't "victims" and never would be.

They had watched as Haden was carried out on a stretcher as they gave their statements of what happened. This was far from over, and they knew that. They were ready to move on, though. They had each other, and their life ahead, and that is what they had in mind.

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**as i said, updating much sooner than before!**

**about what happened, i wasnt letting haden get too close to olivia. i gag at the thought of them being together again lol. olivia always finds someway to get out of the bad situations. badass benson had to come out at some point there too;) things got pretty tense! hope i kept you in suspense! that was the plan! tried giving as much as i could without going overboard with this! haden is a dumb ass. and crazy. at least in fiction he is. lol. thanks for reading, and please review to let me know what you think! :) **


	14. Hard to Believe

**THANK YOU ALL once again who just keep giving awesome reviews, and to the new people who just favorited and adding to alerts and reviewed! so glad everyone likes the story! your reviews made me smile once again. i love reading them! **

**Amanda4Meloni mentioned it, and i am sure everyone else is thinking it, i should have had him kick haden in the balls too lol. may have to change that part up ;) that is, as long as you don't mind! not my idea so let me know! i can give credit if you would like as well :) **

**thanks again to every person who is reading. hope you all like whats next :) **

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Elliot opened his eyes, feeling very sore from the night before. Doctors had told him 2 cracked ribs and 1 broken. They would be sore for a while. There was a possibility of internal bleeding so they had kept him overnight. He looked over next to him. He saw Olivia sleeping, in the chair next to the hospital bed and smiled. She was holding his hand with both of hers, like she would never let go. She stirred and started to wake up before looking at him.  
"Good morning," he said softly.  
"Morning," she said giving a faint smile. How are you feeling?," she asked, concerned for him.

"Sore, but I will be fine Liv. Why don't you go home and get some sleep?," he said, knowing she was exhausted.  
"I am not going back there. Not now," she told him. He understood why. "I just wanna be with you right now El, okay?" The hospital gave her a pair of scrubs to wear since she was still wearing her dress from the night before.

"Okay, Liv. I just wanna make sure you are alright." Just then Cragen, Fin and Munch walked in. She quickly removed her hands from holding his and hid them. She still had the ring on her finger. Last she knew none of them knew about her and Elliot, and this was not how she intended them to find out. It was early in the morning.

"Relax Liv. We know," Cragen said calmly. He didn't seem shocked. Before she could ask they were explaining. "We have known since the night at the bar," Munch said. "It was obvious Liv." She remembered that night, and then it made sense she wasn't the best at covering it up.

"I've just known it was gonna happen," Cragen said chuckling. "How are you doing though Elliot?"  
"I am doing fine Cap. But what happens now? We can't be partners?," Elliot asked, knowing IAB would now be in their business every second they could be.

"It's protocol to let your superiors know if any relationship starts, but I already knew, so there is no problems with me. You can be partners now, but you guys will have to go through IAB yet to determine what happens for sure. I will do what I can to keep you guys together. I have a few friends up in the chain. They know your work, and I doubt they will wanna split you guys up," he told them. "I still want you two to talk to Huang about what happened last night. Again, as you both know, it's protocol."

They both knew that was coming and looked at each other. After any traumatic event involving them the department wanted them to go through psych evaluations to determine if they are mentally okay to continue their jobs or if they needed a break. They didn't like them because it may show their weaknesses, and Huang could see through them when they were lying.

"Obviously Elliot you will be on leave anyways for a week or more, because of your injuries, and Liv I do want you to take a couple days regardless of what Huang says because I think you need it too. It won't go in your jacket," he said, hoping her reaction would be alright.

"Captain I am fine to do my job. I want to be there to have Haden's ass. He could have killed us," she said angrily.  
"I am having Munch and Fin finish this one. You are too close to this. You can handle some of the other cases right now until this is over," he told her. "That is an order. You are no longer allowed near this. I let you slide before with Pamela, and I can't do that again. Not with this one."

"Excuse me? Pamela was a completely different situation. SHE was a victim of the psycho aunt and uncle. I can handle myself with this," she spat at him. She was infuriated he had brought up Pamela. Elliot knew that was not where this needed to go. He wasn't going to object taking time off because he would only have desk duty anyways.

"Liv, listen, you need some cooling off time from this. Cragen is right," Elliot said calmly, going to grab her hand. She looked at him, not calming down. She tore her hand away without saying another word and walked out of the room. She hated when everyone thought she couldn't handle it. This is why she didn't want anyone to know about this. Fin went after her.

"Liv," he said catching up to her in the hallway. He knew she wouldn't be far from Elliot's room. She turned around, tears threatening to fall from the anger and frustration she was feeling. "Fin I don't wanna talk right now."

"Okay. Then just listen." He grabbed her shoulders to keep her in place as he spoke, trying to get her to look at him. She stared at the floor. "Liv, Cragen and Elliot are just looking out for you. I know that seems wrong in your mind for them to say what they did, but that is why they are there. They want you to be okay and want you to do a good job. I know you don't like taking time off because it makes you feel like you are weak and admitting that, but you aren't. You are one of the strongest people I know. Please don't get upset at me for bringing this up, but you didn't take much time off from Sealview either, and I think we both could have used more." She snapped her eyes up at him quickly. Sealview was a nightmare, and still was for her. "You are working on it, I know. No one else knows what happened there besides us.. Baby girl, you are strong and no one will think differently of you. You have been through so much shit and taking this time off doesn't show us anything except you are strong enough to stand back." He was hoping it got through to her.

She felt the tears in her eyes. She sighed heavily as she took everything in that he had just said. She continued to look at him. It was going to be hard for her to admit that he was right, about everything.

"Thank you Fin," she told him. It was all she needed to say. He gave a quick smile and patted her on the shoulder before they slowly continued back to Elliot's room. They walked back in and the others looked at them. "Captain I'm sorry. I will take some time." He nodded at her, accepting the apology and accepting her answer. He was hoping she would come to that conclusion on her own.

"Hey where is Haden at?," Elliot asked, knowing they could tell them that much about the investigation.  
"Right now he is getting treated for his injuries, and by tomorrow will be transferred to holding and our squadroom so these two can question him," Cragen explained.

Olivia and Elliot were okay with that. "Is everyone cleared out of the apartment yet?," Olivia asked eagerly.  
"They are, but I would like to send a uni to watch for the next couple days, just to make sure things are alright and it is safe to be there."  
Elliot and Olivia knew it would be alright without one, but they didn't disagree at the moment. She didn't want to go back alone, even with a uniformed officer there. She wasn't going to admit that right now though.

"Anyways, we have to get back to the squadroom. Feel better Elliot, and I will send Huang in to talk with both of you guys later," Cragen told them.  
"Okay, thanks Cap," Elliot said.  
"See you guys later," Fin said as he gave Olivia one last look.  
"At least you weren't shot in the ass," Munch said, peering over his glasses, making everyone laugh.  
"Goodbye Munch," Olivia said rolling her eyes. They left the room.

"Liv, what made you change your mind?," Elliot asked her.  
"A few things. Fin.. he told me what I needed to hear. And I know it gives us some time together. Since you are my fiancee now," she said smiling. "Sorry I ran out like that."  
"It's alright Liv. And nope I can't argue with the spending time together either," he smiled. She leaned up to give him a kiss. "Are you nervous about seeing Huang at all?"

"Yeah a little, because I don't want him I need more time off than what Cragen is giving me," she admitted.  
"I know Liv. It will be just fine though. Whatever happens," he told her, grabbing her hand again.  
She gave a tiny smile to him. "Hey, do you want something to eat? I'm starving and I know the hospital food tastes like shit." It was getting into late morning and they hadn't eaten yet. He agreed, and hospital food was not what he wanted and not what she wanted.

"If you wanna get us something. That's fine."  
"Okay. I love you." She kissed him again before getting up to go get food.

"I love you too Liv."

The day was just beginning for them.

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**and there it is! :) sorry its a bit shorter than the past few updates. i thought the Fin moment was nice. next up, huang comes to evaluate them, and within the next chapter or so elliot goes home. if you have read my other stories, you know i like to give a proper homecoming ;) if not, then you will see what i mean lol. ALSO, quick question for all of you reading and keeping up! how much of a trial for haden do you want to read? some, all, none? please review and tell me what you think! thanks as always for reading :) **


	15. Time Marches On

**thanks so much as always for the reviews! they mean a lot and are always fun to read!  
so sorry for not updating the last couple weeks. ive been on holiday break from school and really didnt feel up to writing a lot til now. i hope everyone had a good christmas and new year! **

**huang is coming to evaluate them. what happens? what evaluation is given for him? hope everyone enjoys this one! :) **

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As Elliot and Olivia were finishing their chinese food that she had grabbed for them, they saw Huang walk in his hospital room, files in his hands. That is what he was going to use to evaluate them, and Olivia couldn't help but be nervous. Elliot was nervous for this, too.

"Hey Elliot. How are you feeling?," Huang asked.  
"Is that part of the evaluation already, Doc?," Elliot joked, earning a chuckle from Olivia.  
Huang smiled at him. "No I wasn't going to evaluate you from one answer about how you are doing physically."  
"I am fine and that is the truth. The hospital is not where I want to be, but I'm here. Thanks for asking," Elliot answered honestly.  
"Good. Would you guys like to start now or in a few minutes?," Huang asked, giving them the option.

"No, just get the torture overwith now," Elliot said, smirking. Olivia smiled at him. She knew the joking was because of how nervous he was. She was sure Huang knew that, too.

"Okay, and which one of you would like to go first?"  
They looked at each other, having already discussed this before Huang arrived. Elliot answered the question. "I will."  
"Okay, Liv if you wouldn't mind giving us the room for a little while," Huang told her, and she nodded already knowing he was going to say that. She got up from the seat beside his bed, taking the chinese food cartons with her, gave Elliot one last reassuring look, and left the room.

Elliot sighed heavily, ready for this to be over and it hadn't even really started.  
"Don't be so nervous, Elliot," Huang said calmly, sensing from the moment he walked in how both of them were feeling about this.  
"Easy for you to say," Elliot told him sarcastically. Huang just smiled and began the evaluation. "So... let's start at the beginning. How long have you and Olivia been together now?"  
"You don't waste any time at all... We have been together for about a month now."

"Do you think it has affected your work together as partners?"  
Elliot shot him a look of uncertainty of why Huang would ask that. "I don't think it has affected our work."  
"What about at home? Do you guys take your work home for it to affect you there?" Huang saw Elliot's eyes moving as he was getting uneasy from the questions.  
"You know that's the job. There is never any down time. You always take the work home with you. It never leaves you when the day ends, if it ends. It doesn't affect us as a couple, though," he answered, feeling the pain of his answer.  
"Why do you think that is? That it doesn't affect you guys? Many couples have their own issues. You don't feel that you and Olivia working together causes more stress?"  
He did have to think about that answer before answering. "Well... how does it not cause more stress or be more of a risk? We can both be exhausted or completely stressed from a case. But... at the same time, we love each other so much and have loved each other for 12 years that we don't really let it affect our relationship. We love our jobs, and we love each other. I think we have a good balance."

Even Huang looked shocked at his honesty and his answer. He was scribbling down notes as Elliot was speaking.  
"Okay... So what happened for you guys yesterday? What did you guys do?"  
"Liv and I got up as we usually do, got ready, went shopping, and went to dinner last night," Elliot said, smiling lightly at the recent memory of them the day before.  
"What happened at dinner?," Huang asked, already knowing the answer but wanting to know anyways.  
"I proposed... she said yes." Elliot smiled again. Huang hadn't seen him this happy in a while.  
"And how were you feeling about all of that?"  
"I... I don't even know how to describe it. Pure love, I was ecstatic. I was finally going to do what I had been wanting to do for years."

"What happened after dinner?"  
"Liv and I went back to her place, and things were... heated," he said, pausing because he had to think of how to put it. "Then, we heard Haden."  
"What did you do when you heard Haden?," Huang asked, knowing this was getting to the main part of the discussion and the questions would get harder for him to answer.

"I... froze. I couldn't do anything. Liv... she turned on the light. He had a gun pointed at us," he stated.  
"What did you think was gonna happen?"

"I... didn't know, really. I thought he was gonna kill us both right there." Elliot said, shaking his head, his heart rate beginning to rise more. with each question that Huang asked.  
"But he didn't. What were you feeling at that point?"  
Elliot looked at him again. Feelings like this were not his every day discussions, and not about what he was feeling at that point. He knew he had to answer though. "That I was gonna lose Liv. I was terrified of that happening." He felt the tears building. He wasn't gonna do that. He wouldn't cry, especially not in front of Huang.

Huang saw the flashes of thoughts in Elliot's mind. He knew this was hard to talk about. He scribbled down more notes as he continued asking questions. "What happened then?"  
"Haden had Liv cuff me and beat the shit out of me," he said simply. "He took Liv back to the room. I thought other things were going to happen to her. I didn't know. He had our guns, and cuffs, and then took our phones, too," Elliot said, spilling it all at once.

"Where did he take Liv?," he asked, needing to know.  
He blinked for a second before answering. "Her bedroom."  
"Did anything happen between them?"  
"No... or she said there wasn't. She said she kissed him and kneed him and beat his ass before coming out to get me," Elliot said. That was the first thing he asked her because he was terrified she had to do something.

"What about when you first saw her? What did that feel like for you?"  
"I... I've never been so relieved in my life. I didn't...," Elliot paused, and breathed again to get through it. "I didn't think I would ever see her again."  
Huang saw the pain in his face. He finished his notes and realized that was all he needed to ask. "That's all we need Elliot. I'm glad you are alright," he said sincerely as he got up to go get Liv.  
"Thanks," Elliot said, now very nervous he gave away too much in the evaluation. He watched as Huang left, and hoped things were okay.

Olivia's head snapped up as the door to Elliot's room opened.

"Hey, Liv. I'm finished with Elliot. You ready?"  
She looked at him as if it wasn't a serious question. She wasn't ready for this. No one was ready to have their thoughts and feelings taken apart and no one wanted to be vulnerable to a psychiatrist. "Uh, sure. Why not?," she told him, taking a seat in the chair outside of the hospital room as Huang sat next to her.

"Okay Liv. We will start from yesterday. Elliot told me you guys went shopping. What did you go for?"  
"Uhm...," Olivia was already stammering from being nervous and thinking about what happened when they shopped yesterday. She was thinking about his touch, the look in his eyes that she saw. It was something she always saw in them. She was reliving the love she saw and felt from him. She snapped out of it. "We went to buy a dress for me and shoes because he said we were going out to dinner. He wanted me to look and feel good, I guess...," she answered honestly.

"And did you feel good yesterday?," Huang asked.  
Olivia looked at him, pausing before she answered. "It does sound cheesy. I felt good, and I feel good when I am with him, no matter what we are doing." She started biting her lip, her nervous habit.  
She watched nervously as Huang took notes. "What happened at dinner?"  
"He proposed," she whispered with a smile as she looked at her ring admirably.  
"What was that moment like for you?"

"I've... I've never been so happy in my life before that. It felt like I was in a dream. Things were finally coming together...for us." She looked down at the floor as her voice faded. She felt the tears build up more in her eyes.

"What happened when you got back to your apartment after dinner?"  
She knew this was coming and it was what she had feared. It was the moments she was replaying over and over in her head.  
"We got into the apartment... And... we heard his voice. Haden. He was there. He had used a key to get in," she explained.

"What did he say?"  
Olivia had to pause again, nervous as she went back to that moment in her mind. "First... we had to give him our phones. He had a gun pointed at us. He said... He said he knew that I always loved him. And then.. Then he made me say it in front of El. The gun was still pointed at us," she told him.  
"What did you feel in that moment? When he was pointing the gun at you both?"

"I... I thought he was gonna..." Olivia paused, her voice starting to tremble. "I thought he was going to kill him, then kill me after he got what he wanted." The tears started falling as she thought about losing Elliot.

"What are you thinking about right now Liv?," Huang asked as she cried. It was important to get every detail of it that he could. He wrote out more notes as she started speaking again in a shaky voice.  
She took a breath to compose herself. "Losing El. I... I have been in that situation a few times but this time was different. I can't lose him, not now."

"What happened then?"  
"He had me tie Elliot to the desk and beat him, and I convinced him to go into the bedroom with me," she explained. "I wanted him away from Elliot and I thought he would beat him to death if I didn't do something. He followed me to the room with the gun still on me."

"And what did David do and say in the room?"  
"He... stared at me. Then I told him some things to get him to put the gun down. I told him I would give him what he wanted and he didn't need the gun... I was kissing him. And when he turned back around... I punched him as hard as I could and kneed him. Then he passed out," she explained to Huang with a sense of shame. To Olivia, it was disgusting kissing him. And no matter who told her it was what she could do or had to do to get out of the situation her and Elliot were in, she would always feel disgusted for doing it.

"Nothing else happened with him?," Huang asked, curiously hoping that the answer was no.  
Liv shot a look at him, knowing that is where it could have gone if she didn't fight back. "Nothing else happened.." She was relieved with her own answer because the thought of anything else happening was scary for her.

"Then you went to get Elliot?," Huang asked.  
Liv didn't hesitate before she answered anymore. "Yes."

"What was that moment like for you Liv? Seeing him after everything happened?"  
That moment she would never forget. "Overwhelming. Every feeling of love was there. I didn't know if that moment would happen for us again... And seeing him made me realize I never want to miss out on a moment of being with him because... you never know when things will end.. And our line of work makes it more unexpected."

"Do you think the relationship affects your job at all?"  
She looked at him with her eyes narrowed. "No. If anything this relationship makes us better partners. We are the same at work regardless of our personal life. There is no reason it should affect us differently. When we are working, it isn't about us. It is still about the victims and getting justice for them every day."

Huang kept writing. That didn't make Olivia any less nervous then she already was. She hoped she didn't say too much.  
"Okay Liv, that's all I need," he said as he shut his folder.  
"Great," she said getting up trying to clean herself up before going back into the room. "I better get back in there."  
"Yup, sorry Liv. I really am. I hope Elliot feels better soon."  
"Thanks," Liv said as she walked towards his hospital room.

As soon as she opened the door she walked towards him and just hugged him and held him like they had been apart for longer than an hour.  
"I love you El," she said as she blinked away the last of her tears.  
Elliot hugged her back tightly. "I love you, too. Liv, what's wrong? Did everything go okay?"  
She leaned away from him and looked at him. "I don't know. I started getting upset. I shouldn't have. He probably thinks we can't be partners anymore. I lost it," she said honestly. "What about you?"

He looked at her and realized he had done the same thing. "It will be fine. Whatever he thinks, it will be fine. I told him what I could. We did what we could, Liv." He gently grabbed her hand as a way to reassure her.

She nodded her head. She hoped he was right.

Just then, the doctor was walking into their room with the release form papers. It was mid afternoon and now Elliot would be able to go home. Elliot and Olivia both had the same thinking that at least something in the day had gone right for them.  
"Elliot, you are gonna be sore for a couple weeks, but as long as you follow the instructions we gave you earlier you will heal completely. You shouldn't do any vigorous activity. This paper explains it all," the doctor told them as he handed it to Elliot.  
He signed the release form before Olivia handed him a hospital shirt to wear. "You are all set to go home. Just sign at the desk, as well."

"Thanks doctor," Elliot said as Dr. Walters left the room. He was ready to leave and go home with the love of his life. He was ready to go home with his Liv.

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**there it is :) there was SO much dialogue! sorry. what does huang say to cragen? how does olivia make sure elliot is welcomed home? ;) thanks for reading and please leave a review! **


	16. Figure It Out

**thanks for adding to favorites/ following and also reviews! this is it... elliot's homeee. ;) i hope you all like it! huang gives cragen his thoughts on how benson and stabler are doing and all. that wont take up too much of this one though. just the beginning section. it gets intense after that. very intense. in a good way of course hahahaha i hope you guys enjoy it! :)**

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Cragen saw Huang walking towards his office and sighed nervously, not sure what kind of news to be prepared for. Huang entered the office and closed the door behind him, files in hand.

Cragen looked at him with an unsure look. "Well...?"  
"Detectives Benson and Stabler are fine to continue being partners and also okay to come back to work after they have the time off you told them to take. They are not affected personally at work. Although it was a close call and they are shaken from the events of the other night and some others that have happened in the past few months, they are holding up considerably well. They are stronger together as detectives and personally as well as far as I'm concerned," Huang explained before giving a faint smile.

Cragen was very relieved at this news and felt the worry he was feeling quickly fading away. "Thank you, George," he said gratefully, not being able to help but smile at what Huang had told him.  
"You're very welcome. You may want to call them and give them the good news," Huang said before opening the door to leave. Give them the good news is exactly what Cragen was about to do. He waited until Huang left before picking up the phone to dial one of the cell numbers he had memorized.

Olivia was driving her and Elliot back to her apartment when she heard her cell phone begin ringing. She glanced down at the center console where it was sitting before looking back to the road. She grabbed it. Elliot only gathered half the conversation. "Benson." Elliot watched her face and couldn't tell what she was thinking or what she was hearing. "Okay. Great. Thanks Captain," was all she said before she put it back in between them.

Elliot looked at her hoping it was good news from Cragen she had just received. "Liv, what did he say?"  
She kept a straight face, to not give anything away before she told him. "El, he said... we can return to work when our few days are up and that we are okay together as partners," she said, breaking into a smile. He chuckled at her. "Liv you had me fucking worried about that," he told her. "That's great though."

"Sorry," Olivia said while laughing. She was driving into the parking garage soon afterward. Laughing the little bit hurt his ribs, so she did feel bad for that, but not bad enough to stop laughing at it.

Not wanting to wait for Olivia to get to him to help him out of the car, he carefully did himself. As he did, he could sense her becoming tense.

"Liv, what's wrong?," he asked, the mood quickly changing. He was concerned for her.  
She shook her head trying to get rid of the thoughts flooding her mind. She knew Haden wasn't going to be there but she couldn't get rid of that feeling that something was not right. She stared at the ground as she answered. "Nothing... I'm just being weird," Olivia said, giving him a weak and forced smile.

"Something's wrong. What is it?," he pressed as she walked towards him to help him walk easier.  
Olivia sighed, seeing she had no choice but to tell him because Elliot could see when she was lying. "Haden," she simply said. Elliot grabbed around her as they headed towards the garage door. "Liv... You don't have to be scared. He is in holding. If he were here I would kick his ass," he said, knowing it would cheer her up.  
She faintly smiled. "I know El, I do. It's fine. I will be alright once we are settled in," she told him. He hoped she would be soon and was going to help her in whatever way he could.

They made their way up to the apartment, with Elliot finding it much easier to walk once he wasn't as stiff as he was in the car. Olivia realized the last time they put the lock in the door what happened. She took a breath and opened it with some fear, being prepared for something to happen.

They didn't step into the apartment without looking ahead of them. Both of them saw where Haden had been standing before. Elliot was right next to Liv the whole time, noticing her anxiety rising, then coming back down when she saw he wasn't right there. She walked with Elliot into the apartment, looking around. She noticed something different about the apartment. Olivia quickly figured it out. "El, is it just me or is it clean?," she asked, knowing it was not standard for CSU to clean up after themselves.

"It is clean," Elliot said, not sounding as shocked as she was. "I called in to Cragen, and that is why they had to leave earlier. Fin and Munch were coming here to help out," he said, looking at her and saw the relief and shock on her face. "That's not normal either, but they were willing to help out." Olivia looked back at him, giving a smile before kissing him. "Thank you." She had to remember to thank Fin and Munch, too. Olivia pulled away to only wrap her arms around him and hug him, not hard because of how sore he was. "I love you," he whispered to her.

"I love you so much El," Olivia said, feeling him pull her in closer. She felt him start kissing her neck softly and his hands slide down to her lower back. Olivia moaned as he pressed against her. "El..." He came up and kissed her deeply, both of them beginning to moan. He backed away and grabbed her hand gently while looking into her chocolate brown eyes. Without speaking, he began leading her to the bedroom.

Olivia noticed her bedroom was different, too. It was clean, yes. But she also noticed that there was new bedding in there. Elliot had Fin and Munch put that in there, she concluded. Olivia just smiled as Elliot pulled her into him again, kissing her. Olivia wasn't gonna let this be about her. Tonight, she wanted it to be about him. Olivia gently pushed him to the side of the bed.

"Liv-"  
"It's about you right now, Elliot," she said with a faint smile and gleam in her eye. She started kissing the part of his chest that was showing out of the hospital shirt he was wearing. Olivia grabbed the bottom of the shirt and began to pull it off. Elliot groaned as he lifted his hands over his head from still being sore. "Sorry," Olivia whispered, trying to be gentle.  
"It's fine Liv, especially if you keep doing what you're doing," he teased and they both moaned as she kissed down his stomach, going slowly and seductively.

Olivia grabbed the pants and slid them down, seeing how ready he was for her. Olivia grabbed his manhood and stroked once, earning a grateful moan from Elliot. She stood back up and took off her own shirt, with Elliot staring at her. He sat down on the bed, waiting for what she had in store for him. Elliot saw that famous Benson smirk on her face and watched her reach around to her back. Olivia unclipped her bra and let it fall from her arms. Elliot was staring at her.

"Liv, I need you... Right now," he said desperately as he eyed her body. Elliot watched her turn around. He moaned in frustration. She chuckled, knowing exactly what she was doing to him. Olivia was teasing and torturing him to no end right now, and she was enjoying doing so.

Olivia reached around and toyed with her waist band before sliding her pants slowly down her legs. She turned around to see Elliot gaping at her. He was not believing his eyes. Olivia never did these kinds of things. He never thought she would, either. Olivia was beautiful and everything about her was perfect to him.

She slyly moved towards him. Elliot positioned himself on the bed before she pushed him to lay down.  
"Have you done this to... all your boyfriends?," Elliot said as Olivia seductively climbed over him and straddled his stomach. Olivia made sure not to put pressure anywhere that would hurt him. He began toying with her breasts, causing her to moan with him.  
She smiled and leaned down. "Only for you," she admitted as a whisper in his ear before nibbling it. Olivia was giving him goosebumps as she moved and spoke to him. What she didn't tell Elliot was that she was terrified right now doing what she was doing.

"Liv," Elliot said in a half groan. "You are literally killing me right now," he told her as he felt her soft lips on his skin.  
"I haven't even gotten to the best part yet," Olivia said as she came face to face with him once again. She sat up and moved to align herself with him and slid down slowly. They both moaned. "Liv, holy..." Elliot couldn't finish speaking as the new position gave them new sensations.

"Oh my god, El," Olivia groaned as she started moving her hips back and forth. Olivia had never done this before, and wasn't sure what to do. They had barely started and she was on the verge of her first orgasm. Elliot felt her fighting it. He continued toying with her breasts. "Don't.. fight," he groaned as she continued her movements. Elliot was meeting her movements and thrusting into her, making the heat build faster for both of them. Olivia's head was thrown back in pure bliss. She took a moment to look down at him. "Together," she said in a half moan.

Elliot moved his right hand down to where their bodies met and rubbed quickly. Olivia screamed as her back arched more and her muscles stiffened and tightened around him. "EL! OH!," she yelled as she rode out her first wave of pleasure. Olivia continued moaning as she came back down. It was the most beautiful thing to Elliot. The sight alone was enough to send him over the edge, but he fought against it. Elliot loved seeing her this way and never wanted it to end. Olivia was still moving as she looked down at him. "Damn you," she whispered, wanting her release to be with him. She wasn't complaining too much, though. Olivia leaned over and kissed him as she sped up her movements.

"Liv..," Elliot groaned. "My turn," he said. Elliot quickly started sitting up, fighting the searing pain in his chest. Without exiting her, he grabbed Olivia's arms and flipped her to be underneath him on the bed. Elliot kissed her hard as he made distinct and hard thrusts into her.  
Olivia arched her back as she felt him pushing and thrusting. They moaned together as Olivia quickly felt the fire building deep within her again. Elliot reached for her hands and grabbed them as he continued moving.

"El... Going... to," she said in broken sentences. He knew what she meant. "With... you," he grunted, as he pushed through her tightened walls. With one last hard thrust she came undone, every muscle in her body felt the intense release as she screamed his name. He spilled everything he had into her and kissed her hard as the last of her release subsided.  
"God, I love you Liv," he said breathless as he looked into her eyes.  
Olivia looked at his eyes and just saw and felt all the love she knew she would feel for the rest of her life. "I love you...so much Elliot."

He gently got off of her and was side by side with her, wincing in pain from his chest. He was trying to hide it, but Olivia saw it.

"El, you alright? I think that counts as a vigorous activity," Olivia joked.  
"Yeah, I'm great. Sore, but damn that right there was worth it," Elliot told her. He stayed inside of her. They lay there silently facing each other as Elliot watched her drift off into a peaceful sleep.

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**nice homecoming;) this one took a little while to write because i wanted it to be just right. please review and tell me what you think! much appreciated and thank you :)**

**up next, haden's arraignment... and trial. i will try squeezing that into a couple chaps and also in the middle of their wedding plans! **


	17. Love Somebody

**thanks to everyone adding to alerts and reviewing. glad everyone still likes it! :) sorry for the lack of updating. it took a while to not be busy and also inspiration :/ but finally just sat and wrote a while and got it done lol. anyways, this starts the arraignment and news on that and all. wedding plans are coming up because this story i am not gonna take on forever:P this chapter picks up literally the next day. david haden's arraignment is this day. hope it is something everyone enjoys though :) **

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Alex Cabot walked into the squadroom with her usual confidence. She was the prosecutor for Olivia's case. Alex was one of the best prosecutors in the state, and was SVU's primary prosecutor when she could be because they knew she could get the job done.

Cragen saw her walking in from his office and was confused. Cragen knew she was on the case but was not sure why she was there since he hadn't called her recently. He got up from his desk to go see what was going on.

"Alex. Were you called in for another case?," he asked as she stood in the center of the detectives.

Alex sighed heavily before she spoke. "No. I came because there might be an issue with Haden's arraignment.

As soon as that was said Fin jumped into that, expecting an attack on the confession or police work they conducted for this case. "We got a fair confession and worked it like any other case." All of them would feel like they failed Elliot and Olivia if Haden got off easy.

"That's not it though. Yes the confession, statements, and evidence in the case is fully against him and should convince a judge and jury of guilt, but..," she paused before she could finish. Cragen and the rest of the squad continued looking at her waiting for the answer to be given.  
"But what Alex?," Cragen asked, ready to get this overwith.

Alex finished giving the news. "But Haden is also a prosecutor, and a damn good one. He already knows all the loopholes and ways I am going to try to get around him. I am stuck on what bail I can request. The judge we have is also one that knows Haden and I and all of you; Judge Donnelly. I don't honestly know if she will go for remand on the charges we have, and may side with him and his defense."

Munch then began getting angry. "How can she do that? Can't we get her to recuse herself from the case because of personal involvement or something?"

Alex was afraid of this reaction, and she wished more than anything she could do something more. "I can't request that for her, because then I would have to take myself off the case, and it was a stretch from the beginning having all of you guys on this because of the personal connections. Unfortunately there is not much more I can do to ensure remand until trial."

Cragen looked at her with disappointment and sadness in his eyes.  
"I'll let Benson and Stabler know," Cragen said before heading back to his office. This was one phone call he wished he didn't have to make.

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**Olivia's apartment**

It was a peaceful afternoon for Olivia and Elliot. They were sitting on the couch having a movie day and and just enjoying the time off together. Elliot's phone began to ring. He picked it up to look at the Caller I.D. Olivia looked at him wondering who it was.  
"It's Cragen," Elliot told her before answering. "Hey Captain. Oh..." As Elliot kept talking Olivia blocked out his voice and saw his facial expression changing from relaxed to sadness, and was now worried about what Cragen was saying on the other end of the line. She waited impatiently for Elliot to get off the phone.

"Alright. Thanks Cap. Talk later," Elliot said as he snapped his phone shut. She had her chance but didn't want to seem to worried.  
"El... What is going on?"

He hung his head looking at his lap, knowing what would happen when he told her, and he didn't want to tell her. But he figured since he had to he would do it quickly and not prolong it.  
"Cabot says... they can't guarantee remand until trial for Haden." Elliot was looking at her now, waiting for her response. Olivia took a second to register what he just told her, then felt her stomach knot. She was fearful of him being out. If he was out after arraignment there would be a target on their backs. Elliot saw her face and knew what she was thinking.  
"Liv...?" Olivia slowly turned her head towards him. "It's gonna be alright. I promise. I won't let anything happen to you. It isn't a sure thing he will be let out-"

"Elliot. Stop. I can't deal with this anymore. He will get out because Cabot already said, as we knew already, she can't do much because he knows all the tricks around what she can do. There is a greater chance of him getting out because of him being able to manipulate people and situations. It is bull shit but we can't do a damn thing to stop it." Olivia was angry, nervous, and scared all in that moment. She was not only scared for herself, but scared for Elliot and her friends. She felt the tears building up in her eyes. It was rare for anyone to see Olivia this vulnerable, and Elliot felt like he failed her. Again.

"I'm sorry," Elliot said softly, almost crying himself. Olivia squinted her eyes at him. "El, why are you apologizing? You didn't do anything."

"That's my point Liv!" Olivia heard his voice rise in anger. "I didn't do anything for you. If I had protected you..." Olivia then quickly grabbed his hands, knowing he was beating himself up for nothing.

"Elliot, look at me." He averted his eyes further away from her.  
"Elliot," she said harshly. "Look at me!" After a few seconds he looked at her, not being able to bare the thought he didn't do his job as a friend, a lover, or as her partner. "You need to get that thought out of your head because there is nothing more you could have done. He had a gun on us, he had it all planned. You did what you could, and right now being here for me through all of this is more than I could ask." Olivia really knew he could not have done anything more that night, but little did he know she was still blaming herself for everything that had happened.

A few stray tears fell from his eyes. Elliot nodded his head softly, appreciating her words to him. Elliot squeezed her hands tightly. "I love you. I promise to always do everything I can for you." Olivia felt tears beginning to fall from her eyes, as well. "I love you, too."

After a few minutes to calm down, Olivia picked up her phone to call Alex. They had grown very close over the years and it was someone Olivia knew she could trust.

Olivia moved from the couch to the bedroom to talk to her. "Hey Alex. Are you headed over to the courthouse yet?"

Alex knew this was going to be a hard conversation. It not only was about work, but about her friend with the work. "Yes, just leaving the squadroom actually. Cragen called you and Elliot already didn't he?," she asked curiously.

Olivia paused. "Yeah... Elliot and I knew something like this could happen and I have already thought about it before. If he does get out though... Obviously we can't and won't blame you or anyone else. We know everyone is doing their best to keep him in." Olivia did not want anyone blaming themselves for this. It would be unfair and wrong of them to do. She heard Alex sniffle on the other end of the phone.  
"I'm so sorry Liv... I wish there was more-"  
"Alex you have no reason to apologize. Everyone needs to stop apologizing to me. You nor anyone else have done anything to apologize for," she said harshly, then realized it may have come across mean. "Now it is my turn to say sorry. I didn't want that to come off like that. I am just worried about everyone else if he gets out," she confessed.

"No, I understand. It's fine.." Alex paused a second to gather herself. "How are you doing Liv? Honestly?"  
Olivia looked down nervously at the floor. She hated getting so serious and talking about her feelings, but she felt she had to tell Alex.  
"Al... I'm terrified. I can't stop thinking about what happened. And what Haden.. could have done." She blinked away the tears at that thought, then continued. "If he gets out... I don't know what I am going to do. I know Elliot and I can protect ourselves if needed, but it's the thought of him doing anything to anyone else that has me worried. It's my fault if he does."

Alex felt awful for Olivia putting so much on herself. "Why is it your fault? You didn't do anything either Liv."  
"I'm the one who dated him, and I am the one who pissed him off. It is my fault. All of this. No one would be getting hurt if I-"

"If you what?," Alex said, cutting Olivia off. "If you made yourself miserable by being with him? If you and Elliot stayed apart because of what he wanted? That is not only unfair but it is wrong of that to happen. David Haden put himself in this position, and no one else. It isn't your fault for him being crazy."

Olivia paused again before answering, trying to hear what Alex was saying to her. "No, maybe. I don't know."  
Alex knew it would take more than a talk or two for Olivia to stop blaming herself, so she decided to move on. "Are you and Elliot coming to the courthouse for the arraignment?"

Olivia thought long and hard about this the past couple days, and decided she needed to go, and she needed to be there. "Yes. I will be there within an hour or so. I don't know about Elliot coming, but I am."  
"Ok. Do you want to go out to eat or something after?," Alex asked.  
"Sure. I will see you then. Talk in a bit. And thank you Alex."  
Alex was unsure of what Olivia was saying thank you for. "For what Liv?"  
"For being a friend. I will see you in a bit though. Bye."

"That is something you don't have to thank me for Liv. See you soon. Bye."

Olivia flipped her phone shut as she stood up from her bed, now having to talk to Elliot again. She needed to know if he was going to the arraignment. Injured or not, she wasn't sure if he could keep his composure with Haden in the same room as them.

"El... Are you going to the arraignment?," she asked as she sat in her spot next to him on the couch.  
"Well... Honestly I wasn't sure if you wanted to go," he simply said.  
"No I don't actually want to go... but I think I need to," she told him.

He understood what she was getting at. "Liv, I will go with you if that is what you need from me. I told you I will do everything I can for you."

She had a faint smile tug at her lips. "Thank you Elliot." Olivia leaned over towards him and gave him a passionate kiss.

Elliot reached over and grabbed her face, pulling her in to deepen their kiss. "El... We need to leave soon."  
"How soon?," Elliot asked, both of them only having one thing on their minds now.

Olivia moaned as she climbed over him. "Within an hour."

Elliot chuckled. "Well that's more than enough time."

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**had to end it there lol. up next, the arraignment. and more of wedding plans and everything! oh for reference, olivia is younger in this story than her real life. i am making her around 43-44 years old. okay? okay. lol. hope everyone liked it! review please! :)**


	18. Fire Starter

**so sorry for lack of updating... i was busy with school, which is now on summer break! and not very inspired. again :P but anyways... left off with the beginning of the trial. should move everything along and have things done pretty quick now. no promises though lol. i hope everyone is still interested in the story! thanks to all the readers/followers/reviewers! :) **

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Elliot and Olivia arrived at the courthouse hand in hand, both trying their best to look unaffected by why they were there or what was happening.

Meeting Alex outside, the three made their way into the courthouse about 15 minutes early.

Alex was glad Elliot showed up with Olivia. She needed some support there, and Alex was close with Elliot. "Hey Elliot. Good to see you. How are you doing?," she asked, referring to the pain he may still be in from his injuries.

"I'm fine, Alex. Really. Thanks, though. Ready to get this over with," he answered honestly.  
"Well I think we can all agree on that. Liv, how are you doing?," Alex asked, looking at her curiously. She had just talked to her on the phone and had her answer, but wanted to know how she was now that she was at the courthouse.

Olivia sighed heavily. "Hanging in there." Alex nodded once with her lips pressed together, understanding this had to be hard for her.

Before they could continue their conversation, they heard the Bailiff come out calling their case. "People vs. David Haden," he said bluntly. Alex, Elliot, and Olivia entered the courtroom together.

There were not many people in the room. Olivia observed the officers on the people's side, and looking over to the defense side she noted a few people. One was an older woman that looked distraught. Olivia didn't think much of it as she took a seat with Elliot behind the prosecution table.

Alex took her position in the prosecution chair, setting her briefcase in the seat next to her. She began pulling out her papers and evidence she would need to refer to to make the most convincing case to remand that she could.

Olivia reached over for Elliot's hand as they saw Haden entering the courtroom. They gripped each other's hands as he looked over at them with a smirk on his face. Many emotions started to emerge as the staring continued. Olivia felt her stomach turning. Although the sickness had happened with cases before, this was something different. She cut eye contact with Haden as her hand went to her stomach. Elliot saw her do this, instantly becoming concerned.

"Liv, are you okay?"  
Her breathing became rapid. "I.. don't know." She could barely get it out before having to get up and rush out of the room. She didn't know what was happening, but ran to the restroom as quickly as possible. Elliot followed right behind her, not knowing what to do or what was going on.

He did not care who was in there and ran in behind her, finding her hunched over in a stall. He saw her throwing up and instantly jumped in with her to try to help her. Elliot heard her heaving before it subsided.

Elliot looked at her, not believing what was going on. "Liv.. Oh my god... Are you alright?"  
Olivia stood up and away from the toilet. "I have no idea," she said as she caught her breath. She went over to the sink to try to clean up. Her face was flushed and eyes bloodshot from what happened. Olivia finished and had to get back to the courtroom. "El, come on. I'm fine."

"Liv I don't want you going back in there if this is going to happen again." Elliot was terrified after what he just saw. "That cannot keep happening when we are in there listening to it. If it is too much just tell me and we can go home."

Olivia looked at him as she finished swishing water and cleaning up. "Elliot, listen to me. Trust me when I say I am fine to go back in there." She was being honest. The feeling she had had subsided into something normal again. Now Olivia could say it was more nerves than what that sick feeling she had.

Elliot knew she would say that she was fine no matter how she was feeling. For all he knew Olivia could be feeling like she was going to be sick again and she would not tell him, especially if Elliot was already worried. Right now he had to trust her though. "Okay. Let's go." She nodded and took his hand as they made their way back into the courtroom.

They walked in to see Alex making her opening statements to the jury. She was walking in front of them explaining what had occurred, and what Haden had planned through everything that had happened. Alex was giving as much as she could in this, and it made a difference because it happened to Olivia and Elliot. Alex had been going on for a good hour and knew opening statements could make or break a case. She was also going against Haden, who she knew could actually make this more difficult to win.

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I ask you to take in everything I have explained to you. As we go through this trial the defendant is going to try to make it seem like everything that happened is a coincidence or is not his fault. He will try to sway your judgment. David Haden is going to use his appearance and his perfect life to make it seem like he is not capable of these types of crimes. He may seem like a trustworthy person, but I am going to do my job to make you see through that outside appearance. By the end of this, you will see through the lies he tries to twist, and you will see the real David Haden." Alex held her gaze as she finished her statement before walking back to her chair.

David Haden then got up, straightening his tie and walking towards the jury. Olivia hated seeing him all confident. She hated even more that he was allowed to be out of handcuffs for this. She hated him. Elliot would never stop hating Haden for the pain he caused Olivia, and what he did to her. Elliot was more enraged by that than what happened to him.

"Well, Ms. Cabot gave a convincing speech. But, I have something that will be hard for me to say because I did not think it was possible with the many cases I have prosecuted. I did in fact commit these crimes, but it wasn't out of pure evil, and no one was meant to be hurt. I was one of the many people that was in a psychotic state of mind," he simply said. Alex looked at Olivia and Elliot, all in pure states of shock from what he was saying. He was trying to convince them he was an emotionally disturbed person at the time of the crimes. Haden took a pause for the jury to consider what he was saying.

"I have doctors that can account for my actions and scientifically explain it, and right now I am not even close to where I was in that dark phase of my life. I am very sorry for what I did to Detectives Benson and Stabler in what I thought at the time was normal. I know now it wasn't. I was driven into this state by being upset and stressed, and then Detective Benson and I had an inappropriate relationship that ended right before these crimes began. I was heartbroken, which I am sure many of you can relate to. Anger, sadness, and so many emotions that can be caused by it. This might sound a little extreme, but it is possible. And I was right where you were being skeptical until it happened to me. I had to defend myself in this case because I knew maybe the lawyer would not understand it. So, I ask, right now, that you try your best to believe this. I do not need jail. I need more help in a hospital so this heinous crime never happens again with anyone else," Haden concluded. His opening statement was not as lengthy as Alex's, but it was much more shocking than anyone had ever anticipated from him.

Olivia felt her stomach knotting up from what he had just caused. This was not what she was expecting, and now she was more terrified than ever that he would get into a psych ward instead of prison, or let out completely. She just had the realization this man literally was crazy, and she never saw it. Olivia felt ridiculous and stupid for letting it get to this point. She didn't know if she would or could ever get past this.

Judge O'Connell spoke as the opening statements concluded. "Court will reopen Monday morning at 9 a.m. for prosecution to begin their case. Court adjourned," he said as he finalized it with the hit of the gavel. As soon as he did this, Alex turned around and started apologizing to Olivia and Elliot. "I am so sorry guys, I had no idea he was going to do that. This is all my fault. I should have-"

"Alex," Olivia stopped her. "Stop doing that. You have nothing to apologize for. Not now. It's him," she said shooting a glare at Haden, who was getting cuffed and turning around to the older lady Olivia saw earlier. He hugged her. She assumed that was his mother. She had seen it many times where she could not believe how the mother's believed their sons or daughters were innocent, and this was no exception. Haden hugged her. Olivia could not get over that. How could he do that to his mother? Put her through this? Olivia had a million thoughts running through her head, as she didn't realize she was staring at the sight before her in shock. Haden just looked at her and that caused her to turn her head away.

She glanced up again to see him being led away. Finally. The pounding of her heart continued though, just in anger and frustration with this situation. She blocked everything else out, and faintly heard Elliot and Alex talking beside her. Olivia felt the jostling of her arm and heard her name being said. She blinked and looked at them.  
"Huh? What?," she answered, still out of it.

Elliot saw what she was doing. "Are you feeling sick again?"  
"No, no. I was just thinking," she said, not going into detail for a reason. They were headed out of the courtroom.

Alex then jumped in. "Sick? You got sick earlier? Are you alright?," she started, rushing into as many questions as she could being concerned for her.  
"Yes, Alex. I am fine. I don't know what happened but I am feeling better now. Actually starting to get hungry," she told them in a confused tone. A minute ago she was feeling weird still, and now hungry. She didn't understand it.

"Well, it might have been stress, so take it easy," Alex told her.  
Olivia chuckled. "Thanks mom!" They all laughed for a moment.  
"Alright well do you guys wanna go get a bite? Or Liv do you just wanna go home?," Elliot asked, thinking they were probably all going to be hungry at this time.

Olivia took a second. "Is it alright if we just go home?," she asked Alex, feeling bad for not going out like they usually did.  
Alex did not hesitate to answer. "Yes, of course. That's not something to even ask about. Just get better whatever is going on," she told them. "Elliot, take care of her," she said as she went to give them both a hug.

"You know I will. Take care of yourself this weekend. Don't get too wrapped up in this either," he warned, knowing the case was going to take a toll on all of them, and Alex would be up all weekend if she had to to get a bulletproof case.

"I won't. I'll see you guys Monday," Alex said as she walked away.

Elliot waited until they were in the car to finally ask. "Liv... what were you thinking about back there when you were zoned?"  
"El, really, I'm fine and we don't need to talk about it right now. Can we please just try to have a good and normal weekend?," she asked desperately.

He knew she would do that. "Yes, after you answer the question," he pushed, knowing it was going to piss her off sooner or later. Elliot also knew the anger wasn't towards him.

Olivia just let out a frustrated sigh, knowing he wouldn't let up until she answered. "It was his mom. I was supposed to meet her. We talked about it a while ago. Haden wanted me.. to meet her. Seeing that today, and seeing how much she still loves him, and then knowing she probably wasn't the one who made him like that. All of it. It's scary," she admitted.

Elliot grabbed her hand. "It is scary, but you can't do that to yourself. I know what you are saying, but he is crazy, and there is not a damn thing she could have done to stop that. You couldn't either."

Olivia felt the tears building as she looked out the window, staying silent now as they pulled into the parking garage. "El?," she asked.  
"What?"  
"Can we make one stop real quick?"

Elliot was confused. "Yeah, for what?," he asked curiously.

Olivia looked at him with a look of panic as he parked the car. "A pregnancy test."

**!#(%% %%$# $%%* **

**Is she pregnant? keep reading to find out! as always thanks for reading. i will be getting to marriage plans shortly. had to get the start of the trial going. please review! :) **


	19. Unfair

**thanks so much to all the favorites/follows, and also reviews! glad you guys like it! :) and thank you to my beta PrentissRose! **

**is Olivia pregnant? what is happening with their wedding plans? the trial?**

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Elliot looked at her in shock. "Did you just say-"

"Yes and I am not going to say it again," she snapped. She couldn't believe what she was saying. Olivia's heart raced as she thought about her own words. Elliot was shocked, but also couldn't help but be happy. He didn't understand why Olivia wasn't sharing those feelings of joy. It was all she had ever wanted since he knew her, and he was going to be asking her later about this.

"Liv, why don't you go inside and I can go get it?," he told her, hoping she would allow him to do that for her. Olivia looked out the window. She felt the tears building in her eyes, not knowing what to do in that moment. Hell she wasn't even sure if she wanted to know now. "Um... Yeah. Okay. I'll see you when you get back then. Thanks. Sorry," she said as she opened the door to make her way up to her apartment. Elliot watched to make sure she got inside the building okay.

When Olivia got inside the apartment she quickly ran to the bathroom, feeling like she was going to be sick again. She sat near the toilet, just in case it did happen. She then felt the trickling of tears on her face. It seemed like there was always something in her life that caused turmoil. Olivia didn't know what to do if she were pregnant. That word rang in her mind over and over. "Pregnant," she whispered to herself. Two very different scenarios played in her head. One was her and Elliot with a baby as a happy family. She saw the child growing up with what would seem like a perfect life. The other was that her and Elliot were no longer together, and her life was falling apart. Olivia couldn't help but fear the second situation. She would not know what to do if she lost Elliot again.

She heard the front door open. "Liv, I'm back!," Elliot yelled. "Where are you?"

Olivia wiped the tears from her face before answering. "El, I'm in here," she answered quieter than she thought. She heard the door handle to the bathroom jiggle. "Liv, you might have to unlock this. I can't walk through walls," he joked. That did make a hint of a grin come through on her face. Only he could make her smile in the worst moments. Olivia turned the lock to let him in. He saw her face reddened and knew she had been crying. She resumed her position on the floor. Elliot sat down next to her, taking her hand and setting the test on the ground next to them. "Liv.. What's going on? Talk to me... Please."

She took a moment. "Elliot, what isn't going on is the question? We have a trial, an engagement, our jobs that seem to get more gruesome every day, and possibly a..." Olivia paused, not being able to say it.

"A baby. I know." He finished her sentence for her. "And I will be more than happy if that is what it is. Why aren't you? You always wanted this." Olivia let more tears silently fall as he spoke.

"I know it is, but... right now I was not expecting it to happen. I am not getting any younger El, and the chances of a pregnancy at my age are slim, and the chances of having a baby make it full term and healthy are even lower," she told him, knowing for a few years her "biological clock" was running out. She didn't know now if she could have kids, or ever would, and she had been trying to find a way to finally accept that.

"Liv... There are better chances now more than ever to have a baby healthy at your age. You are going to be a great mom when you get that chance. And... honestly, I hope that chance is now because there is nothing more that I want than a child and marriage with you." Olivia looked at him, feeling her fears slowly disappearing now.

"El... What if... What if we can't stop our child from becoming like the people we catch? What if there is something in us that makes us like them?," she asked genuinely. She knew of so many cases where parents did nothing but love and take care of their children and then they turned out to be rapists and murderers. Olivia was terrified that would happen, or that someone would harm her child. That was an unbearable thought to her.

He sighed heavily. "Liv. All we can do is hold our children close, and love them unconditionally. They need to know they are loved, and we need to know that no matter what happens we did the best possible job for our children. All I can hope for is that I teach my kids well enough to know what is important in life, and know that when they go out into the world they are going to do things for the better. You're going to be a perfect mom," he told her honestly. All she could think was how he could know that. No one could know that for sure.

Olivia took the pregnancy test in her hands, and slowly got up from the ground. Elliot followed, hoping she truly listened to what he had said. He left her alone in the bathroom as she figured out how to use it.

When she was done she left the bathroom to let it sit for a few minutes as it stated in the directions. Elliot led her over to the couch to sit. Olivia knew this would be the longest few minutes of her life, and she was trying to prepare herself for either result to come up. Elliot held her as she watched the clock, each minute passing slower than the one before. Finally, the time had come to go and check what the result was. Elliot knew it. "Are you ready Liv?," he asked as she seemed to grip him tighter knowing it was happening and what could be coming.

"I don't think there is a way to be ready for it. I never thought I would have this day," she told him.

"I know. And now you do, and either result that comes up, I will always be with you Liv. Just know that. I love you." He kissed her hand before he got up from the couch, then began reaching for her hand. Elliot was hoping she would take it, and she did.

"I love you too, El," she said as she reluctantly followed him to the bathroom.  
Elliot allowed her to move ahead of him into the bathroom, neither of them looking at the test right away. She was truly terrified now, and not sure what she wanted from this result.

He grabbed her hands again and they looked at each other for a moment before she looked down. He looked immediately after she did.

A plus sign. Positive. Elliot immediately broke out into laughter that showed how happy he was. It didn't seem like he was nervous or scared about anything like she was. She let a faint smile creep across her face, but all the fears she had were hitting her again. Olivia hoped this was something she would learn to ease out of as time went on. With Elliot there she knew that was possible to do.

Elliot grabbed her face and kissed her, and was determined to do what he could to help her be excited about this. He knew she would be soon enough, because she had always wanted a baby. Olivia felt his arms go around her and keep her tight to his body, and she wrapped around him in the same way before she moaned. He always knew how to bring her back to the moment. Elliot knew she would need this as much as he did.

"Liv.. another thing about being pregnant, you are going to need satisfied a lot more," he said with a sly smirk on his face.

Olivia rolled her eyes. "Who said I am like every other woman? I don't need sex all the time, El. I can live without it," she teased as she escaped his arms. She slowly walked away while looking at him. Olivia knew what she was doing to him. "Sucks for you," she said as she turned her body and walked away.

"Oh come on, Liv. You can't do that to me!," he said as he moved towards her. She chuckled knowing she could, as much as she didn't want to. It seemed like that man had some kind of power over her all the time, and she just couldn't help it.

She couldn't help but laugh at what he was saying. "But I can," she told him as he caught up to her. "Now, what about these wedding plans?," she said as he turned her around to face him. He kissed her again as he had in the bathroom. They hadn't even begun to think about it. Olivia had no idea what she was doing when it came to planning a wedding. Hell, she hadn't even been anyone's bridesmaid. She was clueless.

He parted his lips from hers. "That can wait," he whispered, sending chills through her body. Olivia wasn't going to complain with that answer, or about what they were doing. He slowly led her into their bedroom, and he continued to pamper her with kisses as he laid her down on the bed. Olivia felt like there was a spark ignited within her from what he was doing. This time was going to be different though, and she knew it. She moaned as he climbed over her, not feeling very patient.

Just as he took her shirt off to get things moving, he got up completely and was leaving the room, leaving her very confused. "Elliot, what the hell are you doing?," she asked annoyed.

She heard him chuckle. "You're the one who said you didn't need it all the time," he teased. Olivia's jaw dropped. "Ohhh you ass," she said, feeling annoyed, and unsatisfied. She really was not expecting him to do that.

"Guess I'll have to finish this myself!," she yelled sarcastically across the apartment, not receiving a response from him. "You have got to be kidding me," she said to herself.

Elliot laughed at what he was doing to her. He was dying for sex as much as Olivia, but he was covering it up much better than she was. He doubted after what he did she would say anything like that again. He chuckled more at what had happened.

Olivia walked out of the room, not knowing what else to do. This was one thing she wouldn't forget.

**! #$%&%$# !&%$#  
****  
well he is an asshole. hahaha. hope you guys like it! wedding plans are next chapter for sure. weekend together, her not forgetting what happened... lol. and of course going to wrap up the trial within a chapter or two of writing. thanks as always for reading, and I appreciate reviews! :) **


	20. Get to me

**thank you so much again for all the reviews and favorites! now finally i can get around to wedding stuff lol. most of the weekend will be fit into this chapter (which will be most of the planning for the wedding and discussions mainly telling what they are doing), then the trial begins again next chapter. i will skip around most of the trial. just to cut the story down...**

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Olivia sat on the couch, flipping through a few wedding magazines she had picked up the week before. She was becoming more frustrated with each passing second. "Why are there so many decisions for a wedding? Flowers, center pieces, the color of a damn table cloth. That is all pointless to me, and shouldn't matter," Olivia said. "I don't want a big fluffy wedding dress, either. Too many of those, too. That one has flowers all over it. It looks ridiculous," she said pointing to it.

Elliot chuckled because of how frustrated she was getting. It was cute to him. "Liv, you don't have to do any of that if you don't want. This is going to be our day. We can get married in a courthouse if we wanted to. Everyone we want can still be there, just without all the other stuff. You don't have to get a fancy dress or anything like that," he told her.

Olivia sighed heavily. "I know, but it is the only time I will be getting married, and I will be pregnant nonetheless. I want this to be a perfect day for both of us."

"It will be already because I'm marrying you," Elliot said, making her grin and begin to blush.

"You're such a cheeseball sometimes," she said with a light chuckle.  
"But I am your cheeseball," he said with his Stabler grin. "Yes, you are. Now, help me pick. Which dress?," she asked, not even knowing which one to start with. "And no, we are not spending 10,000 dollars on a dress," she added, seeing how outrageous some of them were priced.

He leaned over to her ear. "We can always go shopping again to pick one out," he whispered, making her blush more.

She quickly regained some composure. "You had your chance earlier hot shot, and you blew it," she said sarcastically, looking at the magazine again. She was trying very hard to keep her attention elsewhere other than Elliot doing what he was at the moment. The thoughts going through her mind made it very difficult for her to concentrate, though.

Elliot laughed at what she was saying again. He was going to try again. "I think you need one that is tight to your body, and easy for me to get off of you."

"Really, Elliot? Is that the best you've got? Keep trying," she said as she turned another page of the magazine. She was still pissed from what had happened earlier, but not mad enough to be able to ignore his words. Olivia was really trying to not let what he was saying or doing affect her at all, but it was getting harder as he continued.

"I will gladly keep trying. You can't ignore me forever," he whispered seductively, sending chills down her spine. She determined in her mind he was slowly trying to kill her, and it was working. But, she was getting better at hiding what he was doing, even though she felt like he could hear everything that she was thinking. "Elliot, seriously, we have to get this done. I don't want to be walking down an aisle the same day I will have to give birth."

He was impressed she didn't budge that easily. "Alright.. I like this one," he said, pointing to a strapless gown that was fitted to the waist, then flowed out from the body with a decently sized train. It was simple, but exactly the kind of gown she wanted. It didn't have any fancy beading or anything she felt was too much for her to wear. It wasn't going to break her bank either. It was priced at 1,500, which was not that bad for a wedding dress.

"Nice choice," she said, taking a closer look at it. She circled it in the magazine that she now had a death grip on from what Elliot was saying and doing.  
"Well, I do know you pretty well, and your body."

She closed the magazine and rolled her eyes. "You won't give up will you?"  
He grinned at her as he rested his hand on her leg. "Nope, not at all." Olivia looked down at his hand, then at him.

"I'm not in the mood," she lied, moving his hand away from her leg and picking up the next magazine. It was full of flowers and decorations for a wedding. She picked the first few out just because they looked half decent for whatever was going to be done with the decorations for the wedding. "I think we should have a church wedding. Simple. Everyone can be there that we want to be there, and then we can have a get together here or something," Olivia said, trying to keep focused on the topic she originally had in her mind. She really did want to get this done, and he was only prolonging what had to be done.

"You are doing a good job at pretending you don't feel anything, Liv," he told her sarcastically. "Must have learned something from me," he added. He knew what she was doing. She felt him lean over to kiss her neck, then her cheek. He put his hand back on her thigh and massaged it as he continued his kisses along her collar bone and neck. She closed her eyes and felt him nibble at her ear. God damn she couldn't fight it anymore. All thoughts of the wedding and plans left her mind as the magazine dropped out of her hand and he lay her across the couch.

"El. I swear if this is another trick I will-" he cut her off with a kiss. "What? Tell me, Liv. What are you gonna do?," he asked as his hand traveled to her core, causing her to moan and close her eyes again. She couldn't focus on anything but what he was doing, and couldn't focus on any answer to give him to the question.

He leaned down to her ear. "I'm waiting for that answer, Liv," he told her as his fingers moved swiftly against her center.

"Fuck you," she spat, not being able to say much else as her breathing became labored.

He chuckled at her. "You're about to be doing that." His mouth covered hers again as his hands moved to the waistband of her pajama pants, both moaning as they moved.

She grinded her body into his as her fingers gripped his shirt, needing more. Elliot lifted his body off of hers to remove her pants and underwear, then quickly removed his own. She pulled his shirt upward and he did the rest to get it off. She admired his body. Olivia lightly scratched her nails down his abs and saw how ready he was.  
He lifted her shirt and grabbed her breasts. "Fuck," she groaned as he toyed with them.

She was ready to explode with each touch. "El-" he cut her off with a kiss again as his fingers slid down her body to her center again, earning a loud moan into his mouth. Her hands moved to his back, gripping harder as his fingers moved and teased around where she needed them to be. She pushed into them as much as she could. He swiped once against her clit and he felt her tense underneath him.

Olivia was so close she couldn't take much more of this. Elliot loved teasing her though. He loved watching her face as he worked her up to an orgasm and holding her there as long as he could. He knew her body and how to make it agonizing pleasure.

As he detatched his mouth from hers he plunged two fingers into her and moved fast, causing her to cry out and arch her back off the couch. "Oh god El! Right there!" He curled his fingers as he rhythmically went in and out of her, hitting the spot within her now that made her shake as her first orgasm flooded over her. He swiped her clit fast and hard as he felt Olivia's walls clench around his fingers. She screamed his name and gripped his shoulders as she rode out the intense release. Elliot entered her swiftly. They both groaned and moved in sync with each other. He found her hands with his and linked their fingers together. Olivia loved when he did that.

"El," she said as she felt her muscles starting to tighten. "Liv, I love you." He quickened his movements.

Olivia tried keeping eye contact with him to tell him back. "I...love you." Her body began shaking again. "Liv, god," he moaned as he pushed through her tightness. He kissed her as they climaxed together.

**!$&%$&%$!&%$#&%$**

Olivia woke up the next morning, feeling the sun coming through into her room. She looked at the clock. 8 a.m. She realized it had been a little while since she slept in like that. She turned over to see that Elliot wasn't in bed. The night before had been filled with pleasure and love until they were both worn out.

Olivia went out to the kitchen, seeing Elliot up and moving. He was cooking breakfast for them.

"Good morning," she said as he flipped a pancake for them.  
"Well, look who finally got out of bed," he teased.

"Ha very funny. That was your fault I slept in."  
Elliot chuckled. "Well you weren't complaining at all last night."

She didn't know how to respond to that. It was definitely the opposite of complaining. She rolled her eyes, trying to be annoyed with him as she bit a piece of bacon.

"That's what I thought," he said with his Stabler grin. "So, what do you wanna do today?," he asked, knowing the wedding plans and anything else might come up for the day. Elliot knew she wanted to get it done, and that she wanted to get it done right and made into the day she knew it could be.

"Hmm... I think we should go looking for the dress we have picked out. If we get that done, then that is what the majority of it is. We don't need fancy things at all since we don't have a huge wedding to plan. It will be your kids and friends mainly. I guess we need a date, too," she explained, starting to talk to herself out loud as she was answering his question. "Anyways, the dress should be at the one in the city that is popular. There are so many shops though, so I am sure we will find something like it somewhere. Then we can find a church where we can have it, which shouldn't be too hard at all."

"Okay," he said as he looked at her. "I knew you liked shopping with me last time," he teased again.

"You just won't stop today," she said, wondering how long this would continue with him.  
He sat down with her on the couch. "Nope."  
"Well they don't leave us be alone in the rooms. The consultant helps me try on dresses smart ass," she said, hoping to get him to back off. It was amusing to her, even though she wouldn't admit it to his face.

She was hoping shopping would go smoothly, but she had no idea what it was like shopping for a wedding dress. And, it made it even more complicated with a baby bump that would begin showing soon. When Olivia had that thought, she had to hold her stomach as the sick feeling began again. She quickly got up and ran to the bathroom, already frustrated with it beginning. Elliot followed behind her to make sure she was alright.

"So much... for eating the breakfast you made," she said sarcastically as she hunched over the toilet bowl. She didn't think she would be having morning sickness already. She didn't think a lot of things would happen to her, though.

**! #%&!#$%&%$#!#$%&**

Elliot and Olivia arrived at noon to shop. She had the magazine ready in hand to show and was hoping this would be over quickly.

"Olivia?," a petite woman came out saying. They both stood up to greet her and shake her hand. "I'm Olivia and this is Elliot, my fiancee," Olivia said, hearing herself say that word was weird and great at the same time. She hadn't gotten used to it, and then husband would be the word she was using soon enough, and that seemed crazy to her.

"Hi. Good to meet you guys. I'm Elizabeth and I will be your consultant today. First, I should ask what kind of dress are you looking for?," she asked. She was a nice woman, seemed to be in her mid 20's and attractive. She had long blond hair and wore glasses with a dress suit. Olivia held open the magazine to show her the dress she had picked out. Elizabeth took a glance at it.

"Oh a Vera Wang. Very nice choice. I will ask you to step over this way so we can begin finding dresses to try," she said as she led them over to a fitting area. "Okay you guys can take a seat and I will be right back with some dresses," she told them.

"Thank you," Olivia answered as she sat down, feeling nervous. She had no idea why she was feeling this way since she thought it wouldn't be that big of a deal to her. She knew she had to keep as calm as she could about anything that was happening at the moment.

Elizabeth arrived back to the room quickly with 3 dresses. "Okay Olivia we have 3 Vera Wang dresses, each under 2,000 dollars to try. And good news, I have the dress you wanted to try."

Olivia smiled and nodded, getting eager to try it on. It was just like it was shown in the magazine, everything about it was perfect to her.

Elliot waited outside of the room as Olivia changed. He heard footsteps coming out and looked eagerly towards where Olivia was, and he saw her coming out. His jaw seemed to hit the ground as she walked out towards the mirrors.  
"Oh... Liv.. You look... amazing," he said, trying to remember how to speak. Olivia couldn't stop smiling as she walked, holding the train she had on the dress. Olivia felt something she hadn't experienced before. It was indescribable how she felt looking at herself in the mirror. She didn't think she needed to try on any other dress.

"This is it," she whispered as she looked. Elliot just continued staring at her.  
"That is it," he confirmed. Elizabeth walked over with a clip to put her hair in a side bun and a veil flowing with the dress to help Olivia envision herself on her wedding day. It completed the look Olivia wanted. It fit perfectly right now, and she didn't know how long that would last, but she was hoping long enough for the wedding to happen.

"Olivia, is this your dress?," Elizabeth asked, seeing how beautiful she looked and felt in it.  
Olivia nodded her head. "Yes. This is the dress," she said as tears formed in her eyes. "Thank you," Olivia told Elizabeth.

"It was my pleasure," she said as she helped Olivia back to the fitting rooms.

As Elliot and Olivia were leaving the store, Elliot had a strong urge to ask what he had been wanting to since the day before. He didn't know when the wedding was going to be either, but now he had an idea. "Liv?"  
"Hmm?," she answered.

"I know this sounds crazy... But, what do you think if we had the wedding in the next couple weeks?," he asked, wondering if she would go for it with all the fears that had been within her lately. She froze as she looked at him, not really knowing what to say to the question. "We don't have to, but I figured since we have the dress and most of it figured out we could." Olivia stood there, in shock, but then heard the voice inside of her tell her to do this, even if she was still terrified. Olivia got the courage to just wrap her arms around him and kiss him.

"Yes," she mumbled against his lips.

Olivia put all of her faith and trust in Elliot, and she was going to continue doing that. He was the one that was there for her through everything. This was just the beginning to the rest of their lives.

**! $%$%$!$%$#!#$%**

**well there it is. hope everyone enjoyed that one! lol. i will skip right to the next part of the trial, then the wedding which will be very soon. oh and i did take the wedding dress idea straight from the one MH was wearing when she really did get married. i absolutely love her dress. :) reviews?**


	21. Vulnerable

**well here we go! some of the trial! it is mainly going to be olivia on the stand for this chapter, just to keep it interesting lol. will she be able to handle it? after this**** i am going to get to the wedding and all that good stuff. ;) thanks again to anyone reading and reviewing! **

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Monday morning seemed to come all too fast for Elliot and Olivia. After a weekend of hardly doing anything, Monday was not a day they were looking forward to.

Elliot was up before Olivia. He rolled over and watched the steady rise and fall of her chest as she slept. He knew she needed as much rest as she could get now. It was different now that she was pregnant. They still hadn't decided how they were going to tell Cragen or anyone else about it. If Olivia had it her way they wouldn't be telling anyone. They might treat her differently or maybe like she couldn't do her job. Olivia was terrified of everything that came with being pregnant on the job.

Elliot wished he could stay in that moment longer. Watching her sleep was so peaceful, but they had to be up and go to court.

He pushed her hair back gently out of her face. "Liv," Elliot whispered, trying to wake her up as calmly as possible. She moaned and stirred, but still remained in her peaceful sleep. He tried again, but tried something different. He pressed his lips against hers. He felt her stir again then come out of her sleep with a small smile creeping across her face. It seemed like the best way she had every been woken up.

"Good morning," he said as he brushed his fingers across her cheek.

She squinted her eyes a bit at him. "Morning," she said before yawning. "What time is it?," she asked, hoping for a chance to sleep a bit longer.

"7 30. Sorry. We have to be there by 9.." Olivia groaned at that answer.  
"I know," he said, understanding the feeling. "Maybe we can shower together," Elliot whispered seductively in her ear. Olivia smiled and squirmed, feeling like a teenage girl again.

"I think we will need some of that for after today," Olivia said, already knowing today would make her angry. "You know, I think Cragen will want us back to work one of these days. It's been a few days."

"Well, it isn't everyday the detectives are the victims, and have to be at court for most of it."

Olivia sighed and rolled her eyes. "I know." Not only did she dislike that word for herself, but she didn't like the fact of actually being one.

She rolled out of bed and threw on his t-shirt that was laying next to the bed.

"That is not helping the whole wait until tonight Liv," he said as he watched her walk across the bedroom.  
She raised her eyebrow as she looked at him. "Well, then I am sorry you just can't control yourself." She smirked as she walked out of the bedroom.

He just groaned at what she was saying. God, he loved this woman.

**! #$!#$%$#!#$%$#$%$#**

Elliot sat in the car with Olivia outside of the courthouse. "El, we have to go in sometime today," she said sarcastically, knowing she was the one holding it up. This would be for the next few days they had to do this, and she hated it already.

Elliot got out of the car and went over to her side. He opened the door, and reached for her hand. She grabbed it. He knew exactly what to do for her when she needed it.

They walked into the courthouse and saw Alex. She approached them.

"Hey guys. Liv, how are you feeling today? Still sick?," Alex asked, concerned for her after what had happened in court on the Friday before.

Olivia looked down at the ground. "You could say that," she said quietly, just loud enough for Alex to hear. It confused her.  
"What is it?," Alex asked. She didn't know what Olivia meant.

Olivia smiled a bit. She went in to whisper to Alex what was going on. Elliot watched as Alex's face went from concern to shock.  
"NO!," Alex said as her jaw dropped. "Oh my god... congratulations!," she squealed as she hugged Olivia, clearly excited for them.

"Thanks," Olivia said, not being able to help but smile from Alex's reaction. Alex sensed her hesitation with it, though. She didn't have time to ask because their case was called in.

"Liv, we will talk about this later," Alex said with her eyebrows raised as they headed inside the courtroom.

Elliot and Olivia sat in the same seats they had the previous Friday. They weren't sure who would be called first to testify, but both of them knew it was only a matter of time before they each had their turn.

Everyone stood as the judge entered, and sat as he took his seat to begin the proceedings.  
"Are the people ready to begin?," Judge O'Connell asked, peering over his glasses.

"We are, your honor."  
"Okay then. Call your first witness."

Alex had thought strategically about who she wanted to testify first. The first person needed to leave an impact on the jury, and the person to do that would be the victim.

"The people call Olivia Benson to the stand," Alex said. Olivia gripped Elliot's hand before standing up to go to the witness stand. The person who attacked her was about to be interrogating her on what happened. Olivia felt sorry for all the victims that had been in that position before, and now understood the fear and knew what they felt in that moment.

The bailiff had to swear her in on the stand. "Raise your right hand." Olivia did so. "Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help you God?"

"I do." Alex approached her to begin the questioning. Olivia knew Alex's style well enough to know where Alex would begin.

"Miss Benson, could you describe to the jury what your relationship with the defendant is?"

Olivia didn't hesitate too much like she thought she would. "Uh, he is my ex. We dated briefly a couple months back."

"And what was the reason for the relationship ending if you don't mind my asking?" Alex already knew the reasons, but the jury didn't.

Olivia looked down at her folded hands in her lap as she answered. "He and I were together while he was the prosecutor on some of our cases. He said we couldn't be together due to conflicts of the job basically."  
Alex nodded her head. "A reasonable thing to say. So, it was his idea to break it off?"

"Yes."

"And did you two speak to each other after the break up? About anything personal or staying friends?"  
Olivia felt sick at that thought. "No."

"Had he made it aware to you of wanting to ever get back together with you?"  
"He did, a few weeks ago," Olivia answered, still not looking over to Haden.

"And what was said during that conversation?"  
Now Olivia was getting more hesitant. "Um... He wanted to get back together. And he knew things. About me, and my personal life."

"How would he know it if you two hadn't spoken since the break up?" Alex kept pacing back and forth in front of the jury. It kept Olivia's attention towards her, and Olivia was thankful for that. She trusted Alex with this, and was glad it was her asking these questions.

"We met in a diner to talk. That was all he had wanted he said, so I agreed. He brought up things that he shouldn't have known. I asked how, and he said the answer was obvious."

Alex couldn't ask about stalking because it was only speculation and that would get an objection. So, she moved on. "How did that meeting end?"  
"I told him to never come near me or contact me again, or he would be arrested for harassment," Olivia answered, hoping Haden wouldn't be too caught up with their meeting and what she said.  
"Isn't that considered a threat?," Alex asked, getting on that before Haden had a chance with her on the stand.  
Olivia just looked at her hands again. "Yes, but I felt like my life or others could be in danger. I didn't see him after that, and protocol would have been to take out a TRO and have another officer arrest him if it got to that point."

"So you didn't see him after the diner until the incident in the apartment?," Alex asked, now making it more uncomfortable for everyone. It had to be asked, though.

"Right."

"How long after the diner meeting did you see him in the apartment?"  
Olivia took a second before she answered. "Um, it was the next day."

"What happened that night when you entered your apartment?"

Olivia fumbled with her hands in her lap, trying not to let the nerves get to her, but it was becoming more and more difficult as the questions revolved now around what had happened. "Well, I had gone out to dinner with... Elliot, and when we were entering the apartment we heard someone speak to us. We flipped on the light, and David Haden was standing there. He had a gun pointed at us."

"And what did he say?," Alex asked, trying to keep her cool as much as she could. She hated him for what he had done to them. It was easy to hate that man at this point.

She flashed back to that night, and felt terrified like it was happening again. It became more difficult for her to speak. "He... um... He told us... I should have changed my locks. Elliot tried blocking me. He yelled at us not to move. He said... he had our guns. And our cuffs." Olivia couldn't help but tear up at what she was describing. It was still a very fresh thing in her mind and it still hurt her how that night came to happen.

"Then what happened?"

"He yelled at me... and made me use Elliot's handcuffs to handcuff him to the desk... Then said he had other plans for mine. After Elliot was cuffed, David began hitting him and kicking him. I told him... we should go to the bedroom, and that I didn't love Elliot.." Olivia had told it all without getting horribly emotional, but she felt like it was taking forever to get through it.

"Why would you say that if you weren't interested in him?"

"Because... I had to distract him from hurting Elliot. It was the only way I could do that."

Alex saw the juries faces, and was hoping they understood why Olivia did what she did. "So after that, what did you and Mr. Haden do?"  
"He wanted me. He wanted sex, and I told him I would give that to him without a fight... So, he kissed me and I convinced him to put the gun down."

"After he put the gun down what did you do?"

Olivia looked at Alex now, then Elliot. "I punched him. Then kneed him in the face to knock him out."

"Did you do anything else?"  
"No, after that I unloaded the gun, went out to find Elliot to make sure he was okay, and then went to call for help," Olivia stated.

"Do you believe you did everything you needed to do?," Alex asked, knowing that was a crucial question.

"I do believe that. I had to do anything I could to get Elliot and I out of the situation alive," she answered truthfully, hoping it would stick in the jurors minds.

Alex slightly nodded her head. "Thank you Detective." Olivia thought to herself half of it was over, and she just needed to get through this and it would be alright. She was hoping she could do it.

She squeezed her hands together as David moved from his seat. Olivia watched him straighten his suit and tie before approaching her. She didn't know what to expect or what tactics he would try to use for this.

"Olivia... Do you feel you knew me when we were together?"

She hated him using her name in the situation. "Um, somewhat. We were together for a few months, and that's enough time to get to know someone, but not all of someone," Olivia answered, trying to make it obvious it was only an act he was using at that moment.

"In the time we were together, had I acted outside of what you would consider normal?," he asked. She knew what he was doing and this was not going to end well for her. Olivia had to answer honestly, though.

"No. You hadn't-" He cut her off as she was trying to get in more.

"I never treated you wrongly? Or acted in a way that would lead you to believe I was not mentally stable?"  
"No. Not at the time we were together." Olivia could hardly look at him as he approached the witness box. She was doing her best to not look at him at all.

"So, in your opinion as a detective and from what you have seen of others, was how I acted in the way of a mentally unstable person?," he asked, cornering her into answering a very carefully worded question.

"I... I would say you are crazy acting the way you did," she said bluntly. That blew it. She knew saying what he needed might have just screwed their case. Elliot was getting pissed off watching him go at Olivia the way he was.

"So, then, it is possible that after getting on medications I wouldn't be acting that way?"

"I don't know," she said, hoping to get around that one with the answer.

"Detective, please answer the question from your own personal experience," he pressed.  
Olivia knew she had to otherwise the judge would force her to anyways. "Um... I guess," she said, feeling like she was screwing the case even more. She hated this. She hated herself right now. She still felt like she caused all this from the beginning. Olivia hated him for doing this.

"Nothing further," he said as he returned to his seat.

"You may step down, Detective," Judge O'Connell said. Olivia quickly moved from the witness box, feeling a breakdown of some sort coming.

"Your honor, the people request a recess," Alex said hurriedly as Elliot followed Olivia out of the courtroom.

"Yes, we will take a half hour break and reconvene at 11 for your next witness Ms. Cabot," he said as he pounded his gavel down once. Alex ran out as fast as she could to find Elliot and Olivia.

Alex stepped out to see Elliot catching up to Olivia. Her face said it all. She was pissed. Alex overheard Elliot trying to calm her down.  
"I fucked up the whole case Elliot. Everything. He is gonna get off because of me," Olivia said as she paced.

"Liv, listen to me. You didn't screw anything up. Not one damn thing. He knew what he was gonna ask you, and there was nothing more you could do then answer," Elliot told her, trying to get through to her. It was Elliot going up next next, and now knowing where Haden was going to take it made him uneasy.

Alex went over to them. "Liv, you can't do that to yourself. Please, don't do that. We still have a lot of witnesses coming up, and I plan on putting his in the dirt," Alex said.

"Al, what if you can't?," Olivia said, finally stopping her pacing.

"Then I will put him in the dirt."

Olivia sure as hell hoped she knew how to do that, because she didn't know what to do anymore.

**!#$#$%#$#$#$#$&%$ #! #$#**

**damn haden. asshole lol. will alex be able to crack the witnesses? please leave a review and let me know what you think! I just started another story called "sorry" if you want to check that out too! thanks for reading :)**


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